Little Glimpses

Day to day life has it's own way of clouding our vision. The vision that looks upward to a home that will one day be forever. Ever once in awhile the heavens open and we are given another glimpse of what is really there all the time.

Late Friday night I received the call I had been expecting for days. My grandpa Walt had died after a long, full life on this earth, 88 years to be exact. I have become more accustomed to this after experiencing the more recent deaths of my grandparents on my mother's side, but this was somewhat momentous for it was the loss of my last grandparent. It is a solemn reminder that time marches on, and we will each face this day at one point or another. I feel sad knowing that I will not be seeing him again on this earth, but it opens my eyes once again to the joy that awaits on the other side.

Goodbye grandpa, thank you for the gift of life and family. Until we meet again.

Walter Taubeneck
February 10, 1924- November 2, 2012

BeThou My Vision

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art

Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Words: Dallan Forgail

Almost ten years ago the words to this hymn were sung at our wedding. The joining of two broken people redeemed by God, brought together and joined as one.  I have loved this hymn for a long time, but I do not think I truly grasped the significance it would play as we began the journey of marriage that day.

At the beginning of this year I was not sure my marriage would last to see the completion of ten years. It was a sad, broken state of affairs. My heart was in tatters and my will to go on was fading. I was heartbroken, but resigned to the fact that I was quickly heading to the predictable statistics so many first marriages face today. Something deep in my heart would not let go. Chris and I both looked at where we were, and reevaluated what our marriage was built upon. If we truly believed we were just two people brought together by chance then divorce was an easy answer. Life is just a chance. If we believed the vows we took and the statements we made on our wedding day, then divorce was not an option. 

We are broken people who will love imperfectly, but we are two brought together, joined by God, one flesh. It was then we realized how desperately we needed the love of God to wash over us again, and perfect the love we so feebly try to give. I remember these words, Be Thou My Vision. Our marriage is nothing without God as the the reason we move forward. Feelings can turn on a dime, but love requires a sacrifice on the altar, a sacrifice that begins to burn away selfish motives and desires. It is quite painful, believe me I speak from experience. In the end it is worth every moment. Marriage is not a design of men, it is the design of a Creator who desperately wants to show you a living example of His love through this covenant on earth.

On November 1, 2012 Chris and I will celebrate ten glorious, transforming years of marriage. My love for him has grown deeper and stronger than the day we said our vows. We were young, and inexperienced. We were fortunate enough to have a grain of sense that the only thing that would keep us together was keeping our vision, God. Through every trial and tribulation, even at our lowest point a still, small voice has guided us. I am forever grateful for this man God has placed in my life. He loves me, sharpens me, makes me laugh, forgives me, provides for me, tells me I'm beautiful, gives me beautiful children, never lets go, and most importantly loves Jesus and has stepped up to lead our family in such a wonderful way. I could say he was everything I dreamed of, but that would be selling him short. God knew exactly who I needed. I cannot wait to spend the next 20, 30,40,50,60, maybe even 70 years with this man.

Marriage is worth fighting for. I can say this from experience. I have known the depths of hurt, and the mistrust that will try to creep in. No, fighting for marriage is not easy, it's never convenient, and it requires full commitment from both partners. It will require you to soften your heart and chip away at walls that have slowly been erected. It sometimes will ask you to give up the right to be right, but let me tell you it is so worth it on the other side. If you are feeling hopeless about your marriage today, don't give up. True love, love from God will run when everything else has dried up. It will hope all things and believe all things. It will never fail.

Beauty

There really is so much beauty in the world. Oh I could go on about suffering and injustice. Yes these things are very real. They are heartbreaking, and too often overlooked so that we feel more comfortable.
Still I look out and there is beauty. Little reminders left by our Creator to ignite something in our soul, to awaken our spirits and remind us there is more. Yes there is more of this beauty than we could even imagine. We were made for more than this. You are not here to simply occupy your small space in the world.
You are loved more than you will ever know by a God who has left these pockets of beauty to give you hope. A hope that is tied to something eternal A hope that can make any dark place light. A hope that transcends negative circumstances. A hope that comes with peace that will never leave. You were meant to make an impact in your place in your time.

Formerly Known as the Rhinovirus Blues

Four whole days, yes that's right, four whole days without any children. I would be lying if I said I didn't shed some tears preparing my children for grandma's house. For all the fussing, time, and drama that comes with three kiddos, I really do love those little guys (and girl). Nevertheless it is completely foolish to pass up an opportunity to get away with your spouse with the opportunity presents itself. Chris was going away for a business trip to Chicago and his boss so graciously offered to let me tag along. Great I thought, a chance to spend some time with Chris and also a chance to get to spend some time with my self.
Then it hit me...what do I do with myself?] *insert crickets chirping. It was like I had been told I would be going to dinner with a complete stranger. It is sad when you realize you're not even sure what you like to do anymore. Instead of letting this minor detail get me down I decided to get to know myself again. It's only the first day, and I probably should get off here and get going, but I just thought I'd take the quiet moments to write a little note. Who knows, maybe with all this spare time to think some more blogs may follow. For now I am enjoying a comfy king sized bed with a TV that is not playing Yo Gabba Gabba, and a beautiful skylines out my window. I've ventured out for breakfast this morning and even to the gym. Seriously what's that all about?
Let me tell you, it was glorious!

Oh and a side note on the title. I started coming down with a cold yesterday. When I first woke up I was feeling kind of down. It's amazing what some rest and time to yourself will do. The blog started out as whine session, but the time is to short to let a little rhino get me down.
Hope you all have a fabulous Wednesday! 

Curriculum Reviews

I've talked a little bit about our homeschooling endeavors but I have never really gone into depth regarding the curriculum we use. I thought I'd post a little review for those out there who may be curious about homeschooling, or looking for materials. I found that reviews from other parents were so helpful in making our decisions.

A little about our family:
This is my second full year to homeschool. I have a 7 year old girl and two boys ages 4 and 18 months. My daughter is in second grade. I have not officially started schooling the 4 year old, but he learns a lot just by hanging around. He even likes to participate in activities and projects every now and then.

Our homeschooling style:
We dabble in a few areas. My daughter and I like structure a little too much to be unschoolers. Our curriculum follows a Charlotte Mason/ unit studies approach.

Our curriculum:
Our core is My Father's World. This year we are using Adventures in My Father's World which encompasses an overview of the history of North America and the subsequent founding of the United States. It includes an overview of all basic sciences as well as basic geography appropriate for this age.
We use Singapore Math, Primary Language Lessons , and Spelling by Sound and Structure.

The Lowdown:
 I must preface my review by saying my daughter loves, loves, loves this material. She actually asks to do school work on Saturdays sometimes. Now what kids wants to have school on Saturday?
I have thoroughly enjoyed the way My Father's World is laid out. It gives me enough structure to have confidence, but leeway to adapt plans and work around different schedules. This year's curriculum is laid out in 34 weeks with one week being an optional week of lighter activities for Thanksgiving. It is planned around a typical 5 day school week, but can be worked around a variety of schedules. Friday is a lighter day reserved only for math and reading. The rest of the day students are encouraged to get outside and enjoy nature.   The curriculum includes lots of great books and a list of recommended resources. We spend a lot of time at the library. My daughter struggled a bit last year as she learned to read. She would dread anytime she was asked to read aloud, but with much practice, and the wonderful book recommendations she wants to read all of the time now! I also love the hands on activities included in the curriculum. It really makes a lasting impression on my children. They are no longer just memorizing facts, it is coming to life. The science is taught through a series of Usborne science books. They are easy enough for a child to understand, but the experiments are fun and really drive all of the concepts home. I remember a lot of busy work when I was in elementary school. I love that everything we do in our studies has a purpose. Each concept flows together and many key topics are reinforced across each subject. This continuity allows time for learning to sink in, without seeming boring or repetitive.
Singapore math is new to us this year. I have to say math is usually intimidating to me. Obviously I can do second grade math at this time in my life, but I always worry about explaining it in a way my daughter will understand. I have been blessed that math comes fairly naturally to her. All of this to say I have loved Singapore math so far. It has a great way of explaining each concept. I really feel it has instilled confidence in my daughter. It is great at explaining problems in a visual way so she begins to think mathematically.
Primary Language Lessons is a different approach to teaching English. Instead of teaching the traditional nouns, verb, adjectives, etc. it starts by teaching children to hear, recite, and speak correctly. The book contains passages for memorization, copy work, and picture studies. I was unsure about this style in the beginning. So far Kaylie has really enjoyed this. I was worried about the memorization, but she has enjoyed it. It is an amazing thing to listen to my 7 year old recite poetry to me, even my 4 year old son is picking up a lot of what he hears. It is so true that hearing correct speech is the key to learning a language correctly. If one already speaks correctly, all of the learned structure that comes later will make more sense.
I do not have much commentary on our spelling program. My daughter has excelled so far, and I have no complaints in regards to the presentation of material.
Overall we are extremely pleased with the materials. My Father's World does include a Bible curriculum for each year. I often worry that many Biblical materials will come off as a bit cheesy. There are times when recommended wording or discussions don't quite fit my style, but the Biblical truths presented are sound. I take these opportunities to have heartfelt discussions with my daughter about life and questions she may have. The goal is to take our knowledge and be lights in the world, not to hide away in our "safe" environment. I use these times to drive this home, and talk about ways we can serve others with the love Jesus has shared with us.

I hope this has been helpful to anyone looking for more information on educational materials. I am by no means a homeschooling expert. I know many mothers have tried a variety of materials and educational styles. The great thing about homeschooling is that one size does not have to fit all. The best thing is getting to know your child and learning how to create an environment that will allow them to grow and thrive. If you have any further questions about these materials please feel free to include it in a comment below. If you are interested in reading more about these materials you can check them out here
https://www.mfwbooks.com/.

A Mind Blowing Truth

You may want to take a seat, this may blow your mind. Are you sitting? Ok take a deep breath. I'm not sure how to break this to you so I'm going to just come out and say it.


Jesus  is not a democrat OR a republican.    * insert crickets chirping


Does this change the truth of who He is? Absolutely not! Does this mean we do not vote or live our lives according to truth and moral standards? Absolutely not! Does this mean we love everyone, just the way Jesus loved? Absolutely!

 John 1:14
And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Jesus...full of GRACE and TRUTH.

For those of us who believe we must season our truth with grace. This does not make the truth any less true. In fact you will find grace brings us to the feet of Jesus. When we extend that grace we point others to the feet of Jesus. The feet of TRUTH! 

Happy Birthday Grandma

Today would have been my grandmother's birthday. It's been over a year since she went on to her reward, but who she was continues to be ingrained into the fabric of my life today. I know I have mentioned at least once if not more my greatest memory of her. That will always be her smiling face waiting for me at the breakfast table. As a child you never really think about the life that was before you. Everything you know about a person seems to inherently be the way they have always been. As I get older I think about my own life before and after children. I realize how much life my grandmother lived even before I was even a thought in anyone's mind. I think about the trials and tribulations she faced raising her own children, living on modest means, running a small town business with my grandfather. Even though no metaphorical ship ever came in for them she lived her life with a joy few ever really know.
I miss her today. On mornings that feel particularly rough there is almost nothing I wouldn't give to walk down the hallway of her house, led by the most irresistible smell of bacon and see her sitting at that breakfast table ready to talk to me and make me feel like the most important person in the world.
Even though that is no longer possible in this life, the reminder of a woman tested by time, marked with joy, a lover of God, gives me encouragement to live my life in the same manner.

Feeling Frazzled

Maybe it's just a hitch in my routine, I'm not entirely sure, but today has me feeling frazzled. We had an appointment with the Dr. this morning to get some yearly check ups done for the two oldest. Micah needed some booster vaccinations. Yes I have chosen to allow most vaccinations for my children, but I support those who make the decision not to. I always dread office visits. I appreciate the advent of many modern medical technologies, but sometimes a visit to the doctor seems to be more of a quiz on my parenting decisions, than simply a check up. I believe it all started when I told the doctor I chose not to give my children the flu vaccine. For more information on that decision you can red this link:
http://drbenkim.com/cold-flu-difference-health.html
I'm not here to debate what is right or wrong, but you would have thought I had told the doctor I would prefer to leave my children in the freezing cold with no food or clothing.
Ok maybe that's a little exaggeration, but I know she was not happy with my decision, and she made sure to make several comments and leave me an informational pamphlet in case I changed my mind.
Parenting is a tough job. I struggle daily to make the most informed decisions possible for my children, and sometimes still second guess myself. It can be even harder in a world full of opinions and helpful advice waiting to be dispensed at every corner.
All of this has built up to one frazzling day as I try to steer clear of what everyone "thinks" and still try to maintain my patience while wrangling a toddler and teaching the older ones. 

I guess you could say I need an extra dose of grace today.  It's not just an extra dose for me, but for me to share with those around me. Even as I write this I realize I have been a little thin skinned. Sometimes to truly benefit from the grace Christ has poured out upon us we really have to extend that grace to others, even when it feels like we are on the end of an attack. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go give my children a hug and ask their forgiveness for letting my frazzling day become their frazzling day.

September Baby

September baby you changed my life forever

Laid upon my chest, life would never be the same

A stranger, yet so familiar

Sweet spirit, my heart you did quickly claim

September baby I can never let you go

But the years they keep turning

I know this day will come

For this I am not yearning

September baby I'll hold you close

You're the apple of my eye

No matter where the journey leads

My open arms, always close by

Shaking Things Up

I've talked a lot about him, and I'm sure most of you readers know him, but we're going to get a little crazy here. Chris will be guest blogging for me within the next two weeks. I thought it would be fun to hear some insights from my best friend and partner in life. I've given him permission to write about anything he wants. Chris wasn't exactly keen on the idea, but I know you'll give him a warm welcome! Stay tuned.

I know my audience isn't very large, but I see I've received a few hits from around the globe so I thought I'd address the name change you may or may not have noticed. I've wanted to change the name for some time, but I went through a little blogging drought so it all was placed on the back burner. Suddenly the inspiration to write just hit me, I love when that happens! It got me thinking about changing things up. I'm definitely no web guru so it may be awhile before I have a fancy template, but a name is somewhere to start.
I chose Coffee for the Journey because to me writing, reading, and sharing is like a good cup of coffee. It brings people together in a special way. There are many flavor profiles. There are many ways to enjoy a cup of coffee. In the end it's not so much the drink, but the sense of community it brings. Please if you are not a coffee drinker do not feel isolated, pull up a comfy armchair with your favorite hot beverage of choice and jump into the adventure.

I'm happy to have you all along the way again. Please feel free to join in the conversation, or simply read and enjoy. 

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is a special day. It will mark 11 years that I have known the love of my life. It is nothing official like a wedding anniversary, but is the beginning of our story. It is a drama, comedy, love story, fraught with some pinches of tragedy. I believe every great story should contain each of these elements. Our story may not be extraordinary in a line up of couples. That is not to say we have not had our fair share of excitement. Perhaps the greatest quality it contains is an undercurrent of slow, steady love. While the surface may be raging, which with two passionate people this will occur from time to time, underneath lies something than cannot fail. If it fails it is not love.
This is our story. It continues on because of our commitment to this love.

Back in the Saddle

Close your eyes and imagine Gene Autry serenading you.
Ok are you all with me?
Good, here we are again ambling through the last (fingers crossed) of the dog days of summer.
Yesterday we jumped back into the homeschooling thing. Yup that's right, one year didn't kill us and we're back for more. It has been good to have a routine again. This year is more about learning to incorporate the two younger ones. Last year was quite a struggle with a newborn latched to me pretty much 24/7. I was still working two days a week, and Chris was worn out working two jobs to help keep us afloat. Those were some dark days, not that we did not have moments of joy, but it was a season of tough growth. I look at where we were then and where we are now and I am eternally grateful for the changes God has brought about in out lives.

I have spent a lot of time adapting this summer to being home full time. I have cried a lot, and questioned if my sanity is truly in check. I have doubted my worth, and wondered if I would ever be myself again. I love my children. I have just never felt like a professional mom. As all moms do you start to worry that you will somehow lose who you are trying to take care of everyone else. Then one day I had an epiphany. I have grace and God has equipped me to do this. It is not to take away from who I am, but to enhance those qualities and maybe do some chiseling on those diamonds in the rough. Wiping butts, cleaning the house, teaching my children, reading Curious George Makes Pancakes for the 100th time, is my worship to God. Does this mean I cannot do anything else? Does this mean my only worth will lie in the confines of the domestic? Absolutely not! I will be faithful in what can seem overwhelming yet mundane, in the jobs that many look at with disdain. I will embrace the time God has given me to raise these young souls to fear God and love people fiercely. In these seemingly small things I am building a legacy. I will continue to read, grow, and pursue many personal interests, but I rest securely knowing God is in control of where I am going. Each step is crucial in the journey. There is no use fighting when you can enjoy the scenic road.

A Race Well Finished

Last Friday we ended our first year of homeschooling. It was the most challenging year of parenting, as I embarked on the adventure of staying home almost full time while balancing an infant, 3 year old, and a 6 year old with a mind of her own. I've never felt like I was a pro at this. I always feel I have to work at it, but my husband constantly reminds me that even when I don't feel adequate, the fact that I acknowledge my weakness and strive to be better is the simple love kids need to thrive.
A quick recap of our year. We started a little later than the public schools as I waited for our materials to arrive. I struggled with whether or not to start Kaylie as a kindergartner (which she would be in the public school system) or to skip up to first grade. The curriculum I chose seemed a little too basic on the kindergarten level. I knew it might be a little too easy, and I didn't want her to be bored half way through the year. We had already started working on some writing, and blending basic consonant-vowel sounds, so I knew she was past reading the usual cat, dog, etc. I continually questioned myself throughout the year, not that she did not do well, but I either worried I was pushing her too hard, or she might not quite be ready for second grade. In those moments I had to take a step back and remind myself why we homeschool. Learning is not a sprint or competition. Each child develops at their own pace. Obviously there are certain markers we use to help realize when certain areas need some improvement, but overall the joy of learning should be what compels us up the ladder.
By the end of this year Kaylie is reading fairly well. I have had her writing several creative stories as well as her first short report on our trip to Belgium. She excelled very well in math. By the end of the year she had started doing two and three digit addition and subtraction. There are still some areas we will continue to brush up on. Telling time has been a bit of a struggle. I believe this is actually due to the fact that she does not go to a brick and mortar school and is not on a rigid schedule. I realized that the best way to remedy this was not simply with worksheets, but keeping a loose schedule throughout the day and writing down the time of days that we do things. This gives her a better sense of what time is as opposed to just reading the clock.
The program we used this year had a lot of fun science experiments. We fed ants, made a water wheel, sprouted and grew bean plants, studied trees and flowers. She really enjoyed this part of school. I am hoping next year we can do even more as Micah will be a little older and more willing to participate.
Kaylie learned a lot about the Bible this year. Her reading lessons took her through an abridged children's version of the old and new testament. It really opened the door for her and I to have a lot of conversations about life in the real world. I know many people feel that homeschooling in a biblical environment causes children to be in a bubble. On the contrary I always strive to be honest with Kaylie in a way she will understand. We do not live in a perfect world, and I know she has seen this first hand. Being together has let us talk about these things, and how God sees things. I love the compassionate heart I see developing her as a result of this.
The most important lessons we learned this year were the ones on patience and forgiveness. I have struggled trying to figure everything out, and have not always been the best teacher, but I have learned to go to Kaylie when I know I have lost my patience and ask for her forgiveness. In turn she has done the same with me. It's not perfect but that is life. Learning to grow and live with one another are some of the most important life lessons.
I am excited for summer and some relaxation. We will continue reading and some writing, but it will be informal and relaxed just to keep us sharp. I plan on using My Father's Worth again next year while supplementing Singapore math, some spelling and Language arts, and probably a foreign language through rosetta stone. My hope is that next year we will continue to develop in our methods. I am also hoping to start my own homeschool connection group. If you homeschool and live in the DFW area and  are looking to connect please contact me.
That pretty much sums it up for the year. It was a bit long, but that's what happens when I take forever to blog.
Any questions or comments on homeschooling? Please leave a comment.

Home School Update

I realized today we have been homeschooling over half the year and I have yet to update. Well I am glad to say we are progressing right along. Believe me it has not been without some heartache. There are many days I know Kaylie and I probably would rather lock ourselves in our rooms because I'll just say it.... home school can be frustrating. I will also say it has been a glorious adventure. I know it is building character in her as well as me. After extensively searching I think we have finally found a little home school network we can fit into and make new friends. This was really key for me. I could see Kaylie really desiring friendship, and I could use some encouragement along the way as well.

We have stuck with the My Father's World curriculum this year. I have enjoyed the layout, being a new homeschooling mom. It gives a well laid out plan, but allows freedom to be creative and move things around. I am still not sure if we will continue with it next year. Meeting other homeschooling parents has opened my eyes to some of the other great curriculum out there. Right now my goal is to finish this year strong. I have definitely realized Kaylie has a high aptitude for math. Yikes! This is not good for momma, but you gotta adapt! I was always more of a reading, literature kind of girl. There is one thing I continue to tell myself, this is not about me. The main reason I did not want her in public school, was because I did not want her learning style to be crammed into their square hole. I have to be careful not to do the same thing when I am teaching her. I wish I had more great insights to offer. I am honestly still feeling my way through the dark. The best thing I can offer is keep at it. It is an exercise in winning your child's heart. It is not about control, but more about building a bond of love so when the day comes for them to choose, they are well equipped to make the right decisions.

My greatest surprise in homeschooling has been Micah's ability to retain information. I am not formally educating him right now. He only overhears what I teach Kaylie. We were all stunned when Kaylie was going over the books in the Old Testament, and he rattled off about half without help. Those are not easy names to remember. I was impressed!

I am in no way a home school expert, but I encourage anyone who has questions or just needs guidance to seek out other moms. Support it so helpful. I am available to answer any questions as best I can, and if you live in the DFW area we can possibly even set up a time to chat.

Well that's my update for "mid-year." I will try and update a couple more times before the end of they year. We have an awesome opportunity to go to Belgium and France this spring for my little brother's wedding. I am hoping to take advantage of this great opportunity to teach some valuable lessons. That is the great thing about homeschooling. We are a traveling classroom!

A Life is Precious

Today is a pretty awesome day. The reason being is that 58 years ago today my dad was born in Everett, Washington. There are some obvious reason this is pretty awesome. One of them being I would not be here if he wasn't. The other reasons may not be easy to see here, but when we get to heaven I am pretty sure there will be thousands of reasons coming up to thank my dad. You see my dad loves Jesus. The only thing I know my dad loves more than Jesus and his family is discipling others to be who God has called them to be. In my lifetime I have watched my dad walk with countless individuals. And when I say walk I mean it, not just sticking around for a little prayer here and there. I'm talking about trudging through the muddy swamplands of people's souls, climbing high peaks, and moving through dark valleys. I remember being a child trying to fall asleep in bed and hearing the phone ring late into the night, and my dad would be there for whoever was on the other end. He has gone to the nations, not to preach to the thousands, although he has done that, but to meet with the pastor in the bush who thought everyone else had forgot about him. This is my dad, a mighty man of God, a true worshipper.

As you know this year has been one of the most difficult in his life. Almost 6 months ago he was unexpectedly diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia. While the prognisis looks good it has been a tough road through these treatments. As I write this he is still healing from the effects of the last round of chemo and is looking to start the next round in a week. It has been hard to watch someone I love deeply walk this road. He has been strong even when he is weak. He has stood on God's promises, and lived the verse in Job, Though He slay me, I will trust in Him. I know this has been a humbling experience, but I am grateful. I have seen others changed as he walks through this. I am grateful because we have only seen affirmation of the true life and hope we have in Christ. Most of all I am grateful that we have been given another year of life with my dad. A man's days are numbered before the Lord. No one knows what tomorrow may bring.

I love you dad. I celebrate your life and honor you today. Your life is precious to us and precious before the Lord. I hope for many more years of health, traveling, ministry, and family. You are the best dad, papa, and friend. I don't want to even imagine a life without you in it. May this be the best year yet. A year of triumph!

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Me Again

2011 was a rough year. I am thankful for the pockets of blessing and relief throughout, for without them I surely would have completely broken down. I have had a lot of things to say, but for the sake of healing I have chosen to stay quiet a little longer. The end of 2011 brought one last punch that I thought I would not recover from. While I contine on the path of healing and recovery I will post intermittently. I do not try to be vague to frustrate people. I believe openness and honesty are key, but not at the expense of moving past periods of extreme fragility and vulnerability.

I would like to share one insight I have gained. It is that we as humans suffer extreme short term memory loss. I have seen God come through in many ways, but I always seem to doubt He is capable of doing it again. This may come off as a little silly after what I just said, but He is capable. I may doubt it again tomorrow. There is one who is out to lie and destroy me. He will stop at nothing as he sows his seeds of doubt. This I know that deep inside there is confidence. It is the peace that will set me right on course again when I start in disbelief. God is capable, in fact He's more than capable.