Sweet Home

We made it back early this evening. Seattle was rainy, cool, and beautiful, but I know I speak for the whole family when I say we are happy to be home. Going away just helps you appreciate all you have that much more. I wish I could have taken the scenery home. There were so many blazing yellow, fiery red and orange leaves. It really was a wonderful sight to take in. Even though I will miss this I felt a twinge of excitement as we broke through the clouds and I spotted the winding freeways, flat land sparsely populated with trees, and none other than a Grand Prairie landmark.... Lone Star Park!

It wasn't a long trip, but it was just right for our family with two small children. We did a lot in just a few days. Kaylie would actually tell me she was ready to go to bed which almost never happens. The trip was not without it's challenges, but I'm already starting to forget those as memories of all the fun times begin to cement in.

I will update more later with pictures. We have a few days to recuperate before heading back to the rat race. Chris and I will be celebrating our seventh wedding anniversary Sunday. Along with that and Halloween on Saturday we still have a lot of fun to pack in before it's over.

A Seed of Eternity

A week ago I had a talk with Kaylie about heaven. We have talked a lot about Jesus, but I felt it was time to take it a little deeper and talk about a more spiritual concept. I felt a little bit of anxiety trying to put such abstract ideas into a language she could understand. As we began to talk she would ask questions. I would answer the best that I could. I was genuinely surprised at how easily she received this information. Her child like understanding is not shrouded in adult cynicism, nor puffed up with a false sense of accomplishment as many are with human knowledge. She was excited and passionate about this eternal place where all who have put their trust in Christ will one day go. She kept telling me excitedy, "We will have a new life!"

I was so touched by her revelation, and a scripture from Ecclesiastes came to mind. It is a chapter many are familiar with. In fact a very popular song has come from it. It is the chapter that speaks of a time and season for all things. What stuck out to me was a verse that says God has placed eternity in the heart of man. Yes in the middle of this grand passage about times and seasons, all things which are so familiar to us on this earth, we are removed from this linear line of time. It is quite the realization that the concept of eternity is deep inside each one of us, whether you think you believe in God or not. It was this tiny seed that was planted in Kaylie's heart that opened her spiritual eyes.

We were created to live forever in relationship with a living God. Our humanity gives great creedence to reason and knowledge of the human mind. Unfortunately this has flawed our hopes of true wisdom. How can a finite mind process an infinite God? There is not reason for this, and to try and find salvation in our own abilities is foolish. For those who are jaded and unconvinced, for those who live for today as if tomorrow will never come, look in the depths of who you are and you will find that the seed of eternity is there.

Rip Out the Carpets

When I was little I remember my mom getting so frustrated with keeping the carpets clean. I recall many times when she would say in a fit of frustration that she would rather just rip them out. I never truly understood that until I became a mother to two children and a large dog.

Now I am the one lamenting the condition of my carpets. It does not help that our small townhome has carpet throughout the living and dining rooms. This is a recipe for disaster as my son loves to throw all unwanted scraps of food to the ground. He also loves to carry a sippy cup around, but he is ever so quick to toss it down whenever something else peaks his interest. Combine this with normal wear and tear and a dog who has tracked his fair share of messes around and you should start to see my dilemma. It seems futile to replace carpet while my children are in their prime mess making years.

I have decided that we need either wood or laminate flooring. I have further narrowed the selection to laminate after reviewing the budget. Chris and I have decided we will install it ourselves to save some cash. The only problem is home improvement projects tend to terrify me. I would much rather pay someone and walk away, and when I return be thrilled and surprised by my transformed home. Unfortunately I'll have to buck up and get over my fears. Any encouragement from my dear readers would be much appreciated.

The sad part is none of this can take place until early next year, and with a Thanksgiving dinner to host, what's a girl to do? Maybe ripping out those carpets wouldn't be so bad. Concrete can have a nice cozy home feeling to, right?

The Countdown

In a little over a week I will be enjoying this

and drinking this

and eating this

I cannot wait. I am beyond thrilled. It has been almost two years since our last trip which is way too long in my opinion. I'm just praying it all goes smoothly with a four year old and a very adventurous little 14 month old who doesn't like to sit still for long. The plane ride should be an adventure in itself.

I will take lots of pictures and hopefully they will be decent enough to post. If I am lucky maybe we will find some nice person to take pictures of our family as a whole.

Time to get back to reality. I just needed a little pick me up.

Since When Did Medium Become Extra Small

I made a horrible mistake today. I walked into a clothing establishment that is obviously geared towards the 18 and under crowd. I don't pretend to be old by any stretch of the imagination, but at 25 with two kids there are some spots I have learned are just best to steer clear of. I really was just trying to find a good deal on jeans. Nothing too crazy, just a decent pair of jeans. I definitely have not hit mom jean time and honestly hope I never will. I actually found a pair that looked nice, and then noticed they were having some great deals on t-shirts. I waited patiently to try the clothes on while noticing that I was in the company of girls who couldn't be larger than a size two.
"Take it easy," I tell myself, "you've had two children and work a full time job, don't be too hard on yourself." Finally relief as I can slip into the secluded confines of the dressing room where me and all my insecurities can be alone. I try on the jeans. Not too bad. Always a few area I wouldn't mind seeing smaller, but I can live with these. Then came the first top. I knew as I began to slip my head through that this was just not going to work. Not wanting to be forced into a purchase simply because I tore the material trying to squeeze into it would do nothing to boost this self esteem slump.
I know I still have a good 25 pounds I could lose, but seriously when did medium become extra small? I have several stores I frequent that medium is perfect. I haven't seen a large top since I was several months removed from my last pregnancy. Maybe it is all just a ploy to keep a more seasoned demographic out of the store. Maybe they have the correct medium and I have been politely fooled by all of the other stores so that my ego is not too bruised.

Now my choices are to drown my sorrows in a rush of salt and sugar, or let the anger force me to kick this body into shape.

....Oh well maybe I'll try this again tomorrow.

To Please Man

I do so much in life to please men. Yes, I am ashamed to admit, but it is true. If you stop and think about it even the most individualistic of us seek the approval of man.

I would like to take a pause and classify that I will refer to men or man for humanity as a whole throughout the rest of this blog. I apologize if you are prone to political correctness, but I have found it easier this way.

Many of our endeavors are targeted at pleasing or impressing those around us. Even the most pious of Christians can often fall prey to this. If your circle is comprised primarily of like minded people it has the ability to become somewhat of a competition for whatever that circle holds valuable. In a more secular context it is measured in large and small ways. We all seek the approval of lenders and the almighty credit score. I am not advocating not paying bills, this is purely not Biblical, but what is the motivation behind paying bills? Is it to please others so you can score a bigger loan to accumalate more stuff? Perhaps it is to prove you are in the upper echelons of society with such an immaculate score? We all seek the approval of friends and family. Some would try to diminish this, but I find the louder one argues the deeper the root is in the heart.

I see this manifested daily in a world that has given everyone to broadcast themselves 24/7. Look no farther that facebook or twitter to find people vying for prominence and approval. It is not even alway others that we seek this confirmation from. We are constantly searching our own soul trying to please ourselves, and find the ever elusive state of happiness.

I write this more as a confession than a prosecution of humanity. I believe we are all guilty, but what does that matter. It is a matter of the individual heart. I am guilty. More often I hope to prove to others that I have something. I worry about my appearance. I have often anaylized what to write as a staus on my facebook to ensure that it only presents myself in the best light. I want people to like me maybe even envy my life. What irony when I allow my spirit to be in an aganozing battle with my human tendencies.

It is an embarrassing but awful truth. I have come to the realization that the only freedom to be found is in the truth. I am nothing apart from the saving grace of Christ. He is all that matters. If I have anything it is a blessing from Him.

Never Easy, Always Worth It

There are days when I wonder what it would be like to not have hairballs collecting in the corner of the house.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to eat dinner without a face hovering ever so close just waiting for me to look away or drop a tiny morsel.

There are mornings when I wonder what it would be like to never wake up to the contents of an upset stomach, which most likely came from yet another rummage through the garbage.

And then there are the times I wonder what it would be like to get up from the couch without tripping over a large warm body obstructing my pathway.

I then wonder to myself is it worth it? Is all the inconvenince worth the time and energy.

Then I look at this face.

The same one that lovingly wakes each of us up in the morning. The one that has never bitten a child even when they tug on his ears or try to pull his tail. The same one that keeps a close watch over our family, and will sit with me when I am in tears.

Yes, yes I do believe it is worth it.

Maybe Next Year Big Tex

Well I just sent my daughter off to the great State Fair of Texas. We decided not to go as a family this year due to the sheer cost of parking, admission, and food. I'm sure we could have made it work, but it was decided that with a vacation just three weeks away saving a little wouldn't hurt. Kaylie got lucky with a free ticket from McDonalds and grandparents willing to tote her along.

I really thought I wouldn't miss it too much. The fair is a bit of a racket. Pay $15 to have hundreds of people try to hawk there stuff to you, and the privilege of signing up for free trips, cars, and money. Of course those freebie sign ups come at the cost of junk mail solicitation for the rest of your life, but hey it's a small price right? I just gave a lot of great reasons to not miss the fair, and yet I feel a twinge of sadness at missing this yearly fried fest. I actually have a lot of great memories from the fair. Chris and I went just a couple months after we started dating. We took a lot of silly pictures, ate a lot, and just had fun like kids. I don't know why, but that is a memory that always brings a well of nostalgia when I think of the fair. I also took Kaylie to the fair with my parents when she was barely a month old. I was home on maternity leave, which gets lonely for a new mom. My parents were nice enough to get me out of the house. Kaylie wasn't aware of much, but once again it was just one of those times that sticks with you. I still remember running all over the fair trying to find warm water to make a bottle. Then there was last year. I was working part time after having Micah. Chris took the day off and we all went to the fair. Micah was just a little older than Kaylie had been. It was just a lovely day with family. Kaylie even participated in her first backyard circus.

I suppose now I am just wanting to relive the memories and make more. The comforting thing to know is that Big Tex will always be there next year, along with free vacations, corn dogs, and knives so sharp you can cut steel.

Happy News

Good morning readers! Happy first day of October 2009. I am feeling more chipper than usual this morning. No, I did not get rid of the pile of laundry on my bed. Maybe that will be this evening. I am genuinly thrilled to announce that at work we have been given the privelege of working four 10 hour days which will give me a three day weekend. We are on a trial basis for two weeks, and if that goes well we will continue until the end of the year.

I cannot begin to tell you the things I will be able to get done with one extra day. The true reward is extra time with my kids. I will now be able to do some of those fun mom things like going to story time, an afternoon at the park, or just spending time doing this they like to do. It will only be for three months until we hit our busy season, but I will take whatever time I can get. I also hope to take advantage of this time to start with Kaylie on some preschool homeschooling materials. This really is an answer to prayer. I just wanted to share the good news.