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Friday, March 18, 2011

He Restores The Years

Then I will make up to you for the years
That the swarming locust has eaten,
The creeping locust, the stripping locust, and the knawing locust,
My great army which I sent among you.
Joel 2:25
I had a vivid dream last night. It was not about a specific instance, but it was one of those abstract dreams that brings back the reminders and feelings of past events. My first thoughts when I awoke were to flash back ten years ago. Ten years, has it really been that long?
I remembered my life at this very season ten years ago. I was seventeen. I thought I knew everything. The reality was I was a broken down mess. Every month my parents were finding out some new piece of news about me, and it was never good. I was running around with men I had no business associating with at my age, and putting myself into many dangerous situations. Each night I went to bed heartbroken, because even though I knew it all, deep inside the aching empitness dug its roots into my heart. The Saviour I had once so eagerly given my heart to at a young age seemed far and distant. At the time I was too blind to realize it was not He who had left. I had just stopped letting Him fill the seemingly unquenchable desire to be loved and accepted.
In the midst of it all I remember feeling I had run too far in the opposite direction. Surely even if I gave in, even if I surrendered, there would be years of punishment awaiting me.
How easily I forgot the message of the cross, a sweet message of grace and restoration.
There came a point when my legs could not carry me any farther. A point I reazlied that as I fell down God was waiting there to catch me.
It is ten years later. Instead of facing a spring of death and despair as I did so long ago, I eagerly await the birth of my child, a gift of life. I have been given a great earthly love, a man God has chosen to walk the journey of life with me. I have been given three children, an inheritance from the Lord. I have a home that is never lacking for our basic needs. Most importantly I have been restored to the love of my Saviour in whom there is no shadow of turning. I have peace.
The road of restoration was not all roses. I have still had many lessons to learn over the past ten years. If you are to read the beginning of Joel 2 Israel had experienced great devastation as a consequence for their actions, though consequences differ greatly from punishment. Consequences offer us the path to learning and change. The road to healing is often started in brokeness. Ten years later I can attest to the truth in verse 25. He is faithful to make up for the years the locust has eaten.
Thank God for His great goodness and grace!