Lessons on Parenting from My Own Rebellious Heart

It's official, those terrible twos are kicking in with my sweet, little Isaac. He has been unfortunate/fortunate, to gain a very strong stubborn streak that runs in my family. I have been party to some very intense screaming fits as of late. Patience with children does not come naturally to me. These little tantrums become even more difficult to deal with as I try to teach Kaylie and keep Micah busy.
This has led to a lot of frustration and tears as I try to work through this challenging stage in life.
I have been praying daily for God to show me the best way to  handle these outbursts. On one hand I don't want to completely ignore them. I feel he needs to understand what he is doing is not right, but I also know this is him trying to assert his independence and I don't want to be too heavy handed.

Today he started up over a little tiff between he and  his brother. He turned red and began screaming and kicking. Without really thinking I scooped him on my lap and told the other kids to continue playing. I sat holding him as he squirmed, screamed, and kicked. I began to whisper to him gently telling him to calm down and that I loved him. I would not let him go until he was in control.
A quiet whisper came to me as I sat there, and a situation that would normally frustrate me out of my mind became so peaceful.
God reminded me so gently of how often I have wanted my own way. It was not always kicking and screaming on the outside, but my heart would reel in rebellion. I wanted my way and no one was going to tell me otherwise. Even in those times He never let me go. He held me close, just as I did with Isaac, speaking His love and truth to my spirit. No matter how long it takes God will not let go.
After awhile Isaac's protests began to abate. Between his sobs I asked him if he could calm his spirit. Twice he emphatically said no. I told him I know how hard it is. Mommy has been there too. Finally he nestled close to me and gave a sigh. It was a sweet victory for both of us.

Sometimes I wake up and think I have no idea what I am doing as a parent. I try to read up and come up with my own ideas and plans. Usually I end up more overwhelmed than when I started. As I still my own hear I realize the best parenting skills I have found come from the example my Father God has laid out to me.

Selling a House and Other Fun Stuff

We took the plunge. After close to 7 years of living in our home we finally made the final decision to sell our townhome. We have mulled over this for years as our family has grown, but the time was never right.  The year 2012 was a year of personal transition for us, and by the end of the year we knew it was time. On January 27th we put it up for sale by owner. I've heard home selling can be quite the roller coaster, and our short experience has not disappointed. I do not do well with change. I know many people spend their lives moving. I spent the majority of my years growing up in the same house. The most I moved was after getting married, and each move was still difficult for me. As much as I long for a new house, this is still home. It is the only home my children have known. It is where I have rocked each of my babies to sleep. It is where we have celebrated birthdays and holidays. It is where  I have loved and cried myself to sleep. It is home.
I know that with time I will learn to love a new house. I do long for a yard my children can run around in and a fireplace for that rare cold night in Texas. For now I am learning to let go, and be grateful for all God has done in this house, and all He will continue to do at the next home. Where we go, He goes, and that is a blessed promise indeed.

Can I Borrow Some Change and See How it Works Out?

I want change and I hate change. It is the conundrum of my life. I stand at the foot of the mountain and the sheer enormity overwhelms me. Have I always been this way? Is it something that has come with age?
I sit here confused tonight. It's nights like this I miss being a child.