I can't lie. Lack of sleep is really starting to catch up to me. Isaac will be 14 weeks old this Saturday and he still does not sleep through the night. There was one blessed night two weeks ago. He slept until 6am. I never knew how refreshing uninterrupted sleep until 6am could be. I was excited and hopeful. Perhaps, I thought, we are on the downward slope. My optimism was quickly dashed the next night when he made up for it by waking up at 2am and 4am. Isaac is such a sweethart and I know it takes longer for some babies to get to that point. Nevertheless I started to calculate how long it has really been for me considering I did not sleep through the night during the last months of pregnancy, and I am going on 6 months now. It really starts to not only come down to quantity but quality. On the weekends Chris has really tried to let me sleep a little longer, but the interruptions really make a difference. I am getting a first hand glimpse of how effective sleep deprivation could be as a means of torture.
One day I will care about taking the time to really fix my hair, one day I'll be up early just to exercise, one day my mind will be a little more than mush.
Seriously though, I am enjoying the journey, even if I'm a little groggy along the way. Isaac continues to be such a joy. I haven't weighed him since his two month check-up, but he is definitely over 14 lbs. He just started rolling over, but he has been scooting himself across a blanket for a couple of weeks. He is such a cuddle bug. His smile melts my heart everyday. I love to watch his siblings interact with him. They love him so much.
I am learning to embrace the challenges of being a part time stay at home mom of three kids. While things are definitely tight with me working less, I have gained something so much more. I used to go to bed feeling like maybe I hadn't done enough with the kids. What if I woke up one morning and they were all grown up, and all I had was regret for not taking the time to really enjoy their lives? Each day is not perfect, and I struggle to adapt, but I feel like each day is truly seized. I am so grateful for each day I am given to watch my kids grow, and to grow with them.
I suppose there are many more years ahead to catch up on sleep.