I made a horrible mistake today. I walked into a clothing establishment that is obviously geared towards the 18 and under crowd. I don't pretend to be old by any stretch of the imagination, but at 25 with two kids there are some spots I have learned are just best to steer clear of. I really was just trying to find a good deal on jeans. Nothing too crazy, just a decent pair of jeans. I definitely have not hit mom jean time and honestly hope I never will. I actually found a pair that looked nice, and then noticed they were having some great deals on t-shirts. I waited patiently to try the clothes on while noticing that I was in the company of girls who couldn't be larger than a size two.
"Take it easy," I tell myself, "you've had two children and work a full time job, don't be too hard on yourself." Finally relief as I can slip into the secluded confines of the dressing room where me and all my insecurities can be alone. I try on the jeans. Not too bad. Always a few area I wouldn't mind seeing smaller, but I can live with these. Then came the first top. I knew as I began to slip my head through that this was just not going to work. Not wanting to be forced into a purchase simply because I tore the material trying to squeeze into it would do nothing to boost this self esteem slump.
I know I still have a good 25 pounds I could lose, but seriously when did medium become extra small? I have several stores I frequent that medium is perfect. I haven't seen a large top since I was several months removed from my last pregnancy. Maybe it is all just a ploy to keep a more seasoned demographic out of the store. Maybe they have the correct medium and I have been politely fooled by all of the other stores so that my ego is not too bruised.
Now my choices are to drown my sorrows in a rush of salt and sugar, or let the anger force me to kick this body into shape.
....Oh well maybe I'll try this again tomorrow.