Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Birth, What Have You Done to Me?
I've kind of become obsessed with everything birth related lately. Is this common for others who experience the joy of midwife care and conclude with a natural birth experience? In this crazy sort of way I want to go back and revisit my own birth experience. It seems like crazy talk, believe me I know. I guess that oxytocin really does a number on the brain. It's just that it all happened so quickly. My life was forever changed, and now I live vicariously reading other people's birth stories. I read up on everything birth related. All of the latest articles on hospital birth statistic, home birth statistics, you name it, if its birth related I want to know.
In reality I know I am nowhere near ready to attempt another pregnancy. The Lord knows I could use a few full nights of rest. I really felt Isaac would be the completion of our little family, yet sometimes I feel a twinge of sadness that this is it. It took me 5 years to build up the courage to do things differently, and its hard to accept not experiencing it all again.
I am really not here to blog about whether or not to have another baby. I believe that will work itself out in due time. I guess what I'm really wondering is if this new found love of all things birth will subside? Is it a new passion, a calling? Perhaps it's just something that comes with the empowerment of delivering in my time, my way. I just know I have such a burning desire to see all women realize the power God has placed within them. I want women to see that birthing children is not simply a burden that must be masked or rushed through just to get the end result. It is an awesome journey, that is bigger than you, and yet you were given every capability to see it through. I want women to learn to trust their instincts, and stop letting doctors make decisions that are of more benefit to themselves that the patient.
I'm not looking for a career right now. I definitely have a full plate at the moment. I would love to hear from other mamas who have taken this journey. Did you find yourself enthralled with birth after your own delivery? Did you sometimes feel sad that it was over? I might be the only crazy one there. I don't know what the future holds. I may never hold a professional career as a midwife, doula, or birth educator, but I do know that the story is forever on my heart. I guess we will just have to wait and see!