I have been thinking a lot about the dynamics of a family lately. I remember after having Kaylie how I struggled with whether I could love another baby as much as her. I knew deep inside I wanted another child, but I was often hesitant on pinpointing a time. I finally realized I could wait forever and there would never be a "perfect" time. When I found out I was pregnant with Micah I was excited, but still a little worried about how this would effect Kaylie. She is pretty close with Chris and I. I feared it would be difficult for her to share time that had soley been devoted to her. After Micah was born my fears began to melt away. She was so excited and proud of her little brother. Now Kaylie has never been maternal. She doesn't play with baby dolls and she tries to help with Micah, but she's not jumping to change diapers or anything. In spite of this she still has this deep love for her brother. Recently we were loading into the car and Chris was about to put Micah in. Kaylie didn't see the carseat in his hand and asked where Micah was. Chris jokingly told her he was staying home. Kaylie burst into tears. She was so upset. She did not want Micah to be left at home alone. This is what I love about Kaylie. She is intuitive. She can read feelings and she never wants anyone to be left alone. She does have her share of terrible 3 year old moments, but deep inside is an enduring goodness that is so pure.
Micah is still carving his place, but he already has made a deep impact on our lives. Micah makes me stop and realize that I don't always have to be doing something. He loves to be held close and will let me know he does not appreciate my focus being on something else. I like to multi-task, but he has shown me sometimes it is good to just be still and enjoy the moment.
If there is anything I have learned about family it is that everyone has a place. No matter how we evolve over time as we grow we each bring something vital to the table. I am learning to appreciate my husband and each child, for who they are and how they make our home a happier place.