When I was pregnant with my 3rd child everyone felt the need to ask the loaded question, "so are you done yet?" Seriously, at a critical, emotional juncture in my life you feel the need to jump into my personal life and demand an answer about something that is frankly none of your business.
Ok, ok, I know that is a little harsh, and for most people this is an innocent question used to spur on casual social interaction. Still for some people it is filled with a twinge of judgment, as if they feel the need to make me think about the dire consequences my procreation will cause.
*Just a little side note for anyone who may be concerned: we currently home school with money out of our own pocket and personally take care of our children's basic needs. I do not say this to pass judgment on those who require government assistance. All children deserve the best start in life. We all need a little help from time to time.
Now I am do not personally subscribe to the quiver full mentality, but I also have changed a lot of my thinking about family.
I am happy where we are as a family. I am not actively pursuing a larger family, but I believe in a sovereign God and I'm just saying I'm not closed off to anything anymore. I used to need ultimate control in my life. The older I get the more I realize how silly that is. Of course I believe in wise planning and decision making, but I also believe that sometimes when all is said and done we just have to let go.
Tomorrow I am letting go of many baby items I have kept for many years. It is perhaps one of the hardest things I will do. There was something comforting in knowing they were just a few steps away in the attic. I realize now that clinging to those items is not what will determine the future, more children or not. For now I believe it is the season to let go. Who knows what the future holds, I am excited, scared, but mostly excited.