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Friday, June 19, 2009


I'm just going to come out and say it. I am a giant ball of stress. There that feels a little better.
I've always dreamed about being one of those cool,calm, zen people, but I'm not. During the week I find that many little things can set it off. After a long day at work I come home and just want the world to be perfect. Yet I look around and see clothes that need washed, dinner to be cooked, kids who need attention, walls to be painted, books to be read, places to go,budgets to calculate, and then my mind wanders to why didn't I finish college again. I want to be everywhere and do everything, but in my heart of hearts I just want to be content. My mind is so busy, I grow weary of myself.

Forgive this blog please. I truly love my life, but it is just one of those moments. I'm just reconciling these thoughts on this blank slate in hopes I can make sense of it all.

It has been a long week. I have been tired and not felt much like myself which makes me irritable and not the greatest mom or wife. I am committed to providing for my family, but how long can one work in a job for which they have no passion? I know the answer and it is as long as it takes, but I am still just a mere mortal. I want to reach the dreams I have longed for. I want to do something I am passionate about. I want to change the world!

My balloon of dreams is descending back to reality. Oh it is in these moments that I must trust you God once again. Please strengthen me because I can never do it in myself.

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