It is something that I struggle with on a daily basis. It has been a battle for as long as I can remember. It plagued me severely in my teen years and caused me to make some detrimental decisions in my quest for significance.
I often find myself just trying to stay ahead of myself. Many pursuits in life I have hoped would erase that feeling have left me still wanting, from working to earn a degree, trying to better myself through career advancement, and trying to set up a home life that would make myself proud. Still to no avail that feeling comes creeping back. The loneliness and the questioning can sometimes be too much to bear.
A scripture came to my mind last night in John 4:24. Jesus stated," God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and in truth." I realize much of the interpretation behind this is that our actions or truth of our life be a reflection of the one we worship. As I was contemplating this I realize part of worshiping in spirit and in truth is acknowledging the truth that we are weak and incomplete in this flesh, but as we worship in spirit acknowledging that it is not us, but Christ in us that completes us we find the true center of worship. The truth is the enemy knows me well and will do everything possible to make sure I feel as inadequate as possible, but I hold on to the truth of the Spirit. It is the righteoussness of Christ that covers me, and in Him I am complete, a new creation.
Join me tomorrow as I delve deeper into the hiding place of the jaded worshiper.