Beauty

There really is so much beauty in the world. Oh I could go on about suffering and injustice. Yes these things are very real. They are heartbreaking, and too often overlooked so that we feel more comfortable.
Still I look out and there is beauty. Little reminders left by our Creator to ignite something in our soul, to awaken our spirits and remind us there is more. Yes there is more of this beauty than we could even imagine. We were made for more than this. You are not here to simply occupy your small space in the world.
You are loved more than you will ever know by a God who has left these pockets of beauty to give you hope. A hope that is tied to something eternal A hope that can make any dark place light. A hope that transcends negative circumstances. A hope that comes with peace that will never leave. You were meant to make an impact in your place in your time.

My Satisfaction

As I sit here with a two month old staring into my eyes , melting my heart with sweet coos, I strain to imagine what life was like before all of this. I love how seamlessly God knits our new little ones into our hearts and family. Isaac has been more than a joy to each of us, and I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment of the opportunity to be home. Yes this is true even if there were and still are those moments that I believe I have reached my wits end.
Monday I will go back to work part time, two days a week. I have cried many tears over this. I am grateful it is not full time. I keep reminding myself that two days is nothing in the grand scheme of things, and yet as I sit nursing Isaac and listen to my children laugh as they play and enjoy their fleeting youth, I realize two days is everything to me.
I feel I have grown leaps and bounds in just two months. I have learned more about myself. I have learned more about my children. I have grown closer to Chris. Most importantly I have learned to rely completely and wholly on my Savior Jesus Christ .
There don't seem to be a lot of immediate rewards for sitting up with a baby at 3 am, wiping butts, wearing spit up in lieu of hair gel, and refereeing sibling spats. Yes, not always immediate, but something about mothering has put me in touch with the eternal. It is such a beautiful parallel to the walk with the Lord. When I'm just not feeling the mommy thing some days, I think about legacy. When I go into the workplace I may be the most awesome worker around. I may reach all the coveted achievements, but in the end I am replaceable. In the end no one will remember me for those accomplishments. Then I think about my children, ah MY children. I am shaping and molding for the future, creating deep ties that bind. I am praying and believing for their little lives to be changed, and that they will go out as salt and light in a dark world.
What a journey it is, and I am loving it. I pray for grace as things change a bit again. I know that He is more than willing to give it. I also know that only He knows the deepest desires of my heart, and with God all things are possible!

Validation

Psalm 37 (The Message Trans.)

5-6 Open up before God, keep nothing back;
he'll do whatever needs to be done:
He'll validate your life in the clear light of day
and stamp you with approval at high noon.

This has been one of the verses of my life, but I had never quite read it like this until recently.
What an incredible reminder not only myself, but in reality to every reader of this blog.
Every person on this planet has searched at one time or another for meaning or significance.
The key: Open up before God. Of course He knows it all, but there is a sacredness that is achieved in relationship when we willingly open ourselves and choose to reveal all.

It is a rainy Thursday here in Texas. The mind would chooses to allow the dreariness to settle into the soul, but wherever you are let today be the day. Open yourself before God. Let your spirit be awakened by His passion for you. There is hope. He alone can be the validation of our lives.