Watch Out World, This Little Man is About to Be Two!

Almost exactly two years ago to the hour I began to labor my dearest Isaac into this world. He barely missed being an April Fools baby by a mere hour and 40 minutes. Since the moment he was pulled from the water and laid in my arms he has been stealing my heart every day. I have grown as a mother in so many new ways. His strong willed spirit challenges me to dig deeper in God, and his boundless love and sense of humor remind me of the joys in simplicity. There was a time I couldn't imagine how anyone could juggle three kids. Now I cannot imagine how I could live without this precious force of life that makes our home so complete.
He has developed quite the singing voice. I personally have never met a child that picks up a song the first time he hears it. Every time he visits grandma's house he manages to find her ipod and request some crazy 70's song. Then we all get a kick out of watching him sing and dance his little heart out.
I cannot be grateful enough for God's perfect will that granted me the privilege of raising this awesome little guy. Happy Birthday Isaac Timothy Medrano. My love for you runs deeper than the oceans.

Back in the Saddle

Close your eyes and imagine Gene Autry serenading you.
Ok are you all with me?
Good, here we are again ambling through the last (fingers crossed) of the dog days of summer.
Yesterday we jumped back into the homeschooling thing. Yup that's right, one year didn't kill us and we're back for more. It has been good to have a routine again. This year is more about learning to incorporate the two younger ones. Last year was quite a struggle with a newborn latched to me pretty much 24/7. I was still working two days a week, and Chris was worn out working two jobs to help keep us afloat. Those were some dark days, not that we did not have moments of joy, but it was a season of tough growth. I look at where we were then and where we are now and I am eternally grateful for the changes God has brought about in out lives.

I have spent a lot of time adapting this summer to being home full time. I have cried a lot, and questioned if my sanity is truly in check. I have doubted my worth, and wondered if I would ever be myself again. I love my children. I have just never felt like a professional mom. As all moms do you start to worry that you will somehow lose who you are trying to take care of everyone else. Then one day I had an epiphany. I have grace and God has equipped me to do this. It is not to take away from who I am, but to enhance those qualities and maybe do some chiseling on those diamonds in the rough. Wiping butts, cleaning the house, teaching my children, reading Curious George Makes Pancakes for the 100th time, is my worship to God. Does this mean I cannot do anything else? Does this mean my only worth will lie in the confines of the domestic? Absolutely not! I will be faithful in what can seem overwhelming yet mundane, in the jobs that many look at with disdain. I will embrace the time God has given me to raise these young souls to fear God and love people fiercely. In these seemingly small things I am building a legacy. I will continue to read, grow, and pursue many personal interests, but I rest securely knowing God is in control of where I am going. Each step is crucial in the journey. There is no use fighting when you can enjoy the scenic road.

The Great Homeschooling Adventure

What on earth am I doing? Who am I? What have I become? Should we wear our hair in long braids and don ankle length skirts? Has the dog been fed? These are just a sample of the questions that rattle around in my brain as I undertake the great task of homeschooling my first child. Sorry, the question about the dog is just the way my scatterbrained mind works these days. And seriously please let no offense be taken on the long skirt note. I happen to love Little House on the Prairie, and if that's your style more power to you, it's just not mine.
Anyway back to all of those burning questions. The idea of homeschooling seemed fine and dandy until I woke up one morning and realized it was staring me smack dab in the middle of the face. Oh yeah did i mentioned it happened right around the time my third child just made his entrance into the world, and my middle son is at a less than cooperative stage right now.
It really is such a daunting responsibility. This is my child's education, and I can't take it lightly. She can't just be my personal experiement. This is where personal ideology and reality meet, or the proverbial "rubber meets the road." It seems it's time to buck up, put my big girl panties on and make it happen.

Ok with all of that hysteria out of the way let me say I really am excited to be embarking on this great adventure. I started working with Kaylie this past year on math and phonics, but we will start a more structured schedule in a couple of weeks. I use structured loosely because the whole point of homeschooling was to allow freedom to learn. My free styling thought process has been tamed somewhat by three children that have completely different personalities and learning styles, but if there is one thing I believe still, it is that learning should be fun. I never set out to home school simply to shelter my kids from the outside world. In fact it is quite the opposite. I want my kids out there experiencing things first hand. I just feel in these delicate years I want to be the one fielding there questions and guiding them along the experience.
I also realized that I couldn't do this alone. It is something I am learning day by day. I need help! I want my kids to have a wide variety of social experience even if it is not in the traditional school setting. My first step was to enroll Kaylie in a ballet and tap class. I want her to have an outlet for her energy and creativity. I want to give her the chance to bond with some other girls her own age. This seemed like the perfect combination. Even with this I felt we needed some more support. I searched high and low for a good support group. There was only one close to me that had any information readily accessible. They invited me to attend their first meeting of the year/open house. I was quite nervous. I really didn't know what to expect. My greatest fear was walking into a group of awkward, coolot wearing, straight laced people. I know I am ebarrassed to even write this now. I know I sound so close minded, but it was a genuine fear. I was more afraid they would reject me because I did not fit the right home school mold.
I was pleasantly surprised to find a diverse group of people who seem to each have their own styles and approaches to education. They come together to share ideas and be a support to one another. I loved this. We haven't officially joined, but I plan on attending the next meeting, and I think we will be joining soon.

I hope to make time to chronicle my homeschooling adventure. It is scary, but I think anything worth something in life gives you those butterflies in the beginning. Now I am just waiting for this weather to cool down so we can take school outside. Won't that be great!

Any readers out there home school, thought about homeschooling, want to home school, tried it and hated it? I would love to hear your thoughts, questions, concerns.

***Side note: I really did not mean to offend anyone with my narrow minded view of "typical" home schooling families. Every family has a different way of raising children and I respect that.

My Satisfaction

As I sit here with a two month old staring into my eyes , melting my heart with sweet coos, I strain to imagine what life was like before all of this. I love how seamlessly God knits our new little ones into our hearts and family. Isaac has been more than a joy to each of us, and I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment of the opportunity to be home. Yes this is true even if there were and still are those moments that I believe I have reached my wits end.
Monday I will go back to work part time, two days a week. I have cried many tears over this. I am grateful it is not full time. I keep reminding myself that two days is nothing in the grand scheme of things, and yet as I sit nursing Isaac and listen to my children laugh as they play and enjoy their fleeting youth, I realize two days is everything to me.
I feel I have grown leaps and bounds in just two months. I have learned more about myself. I have learned more about my children. I have grown closer to Chris. Most importantly I have learned to rely completely and wholly on my Savior Jesus Christ .
There don't seem to be a lot of immediate rewards for sitting up with a baby at 3 am, wiping butts, wearing spit up in lieu of hair gel, and refereeing sibling spats. Yes, not always immediate, but something about mothering has put me in touch with the eternal. It is such a beautiful parallel to the walk with the Lord. When I'm just not feeling the mommy thing some days, I think about legacy. When I go into the workplace I may be the most awesome worker around. I may reach all the coveted achievements, but in the end I am replaceable. In the end no one will remember me for those accomplishments. Then I think about my children, ah MY children. I am shaping and molding for the future, creating deep ties that bind. I am praying and believing for their little lives to be changed, and that they will go out as salt and light in a dark world.
What a journey it is, and I am loving it. I pray for grace as things change a bit again. I know that He is more than willing to give it. I also know that only He knows the deepest desires of my heart, and with God all things are possible!

New Mom on the Block

Okay so I'm not a new mom, but I am new to this whole stay at home mom thing. As a working woman I have tried to squeeze time in with the kids every moment I could while balancing all of the other spinning plates in life. All I wanted was more time, and now I have that. I have to be honest this is all a bit intimidating to me. Now I find myself trying to decide how I want to balance that time. What is the right ratio of time spent home working on chores, getting out of the house, trying to fit in time building relationships with other moms, and of course squeezing in some me time? I guess I feel like now that I'm home I should be able to keep the house spotless and do it all so to speak. I know this is not the reality. Since I'm still in the postpartum recovery period I am trying to take it slow and build up to a good routine.

Any other mom's out there make the transition from full time career to full time mom after having multiple children? What worked for you? Was it difficult moving from adult conversation 8 hours a day to being home with kids 24 hours a day? I truly am excited for the opportunity to be with my children. It has been on my heart for awhile now. I also know it will not be without its challenges, and I am eager to find a support group of other moms.
Any stories, advice, and comments are welcome!

Blessing Our Children

Somewhere between the stern mom looks, the panicked shrieks of, "what did you do?", and the daily mom admonishments for proper growth and training I try to squeeze in an, "I love you" or an "I'm so proud of you." I love my kids dearly, but moms know that the day to day reality of running a home can cause the sweet dream of a family from the Truman show to melt in puddles of toys and dirty laundry.

On any particular evening I find myself frazzled with cooking, cleaning, refereeing, or just trying to spend time with two children who love to compete for attention. More often than not this is followed by raised voices and frustration. What's a mom to do when there are so many demands and so little time? I believe the answer lies directly in one practice, and that is blessing our children. I'm not talking about buying toys or empty praise. This practice is simply looking at our children as God sees them, and taking the time to verbally speak blessing to them and over them.

I will attest that this does not create perfect children, but what a joy they are to me when I stop looking at minute circumstance of raising children and realize the God given gifts He has placed in my care. I have been reading the story in the Bible about Deborah with Kaylie. I continually pray over her that she will have a greater revelation of her destiny. I pray that she will grow to be a mighty woman of God. Yesterday we were driving down the road and Kaylie told Chris, I am going to be a woman of God, and Micah will be a man of God. My heart could only smile.
Micah is still young, and it can be hard to sit an active toddler down for anything. I take many evenings when he is quieting down to just rock him, pray over him, and speak blessings over his life. In those moments, when he is drifting between reality and the land of dreams, there is such a peace that settles over the room.

I know they do not fully understand the meaning of everything that is said, but so often I believe we underestimate the power of words. It is not unheard of to see children or even adults who have low self esteem and no purpose in life. More often than not you can look at a history of verbal abuse. Sometimes it is not as intentional as we think. Sometimes it as simple as saying hurtful words when we are frustrated. It can be neglecting to show our children their true value in our eyes and the eyes of God. Words have power. Life and death to be more precise. I had a teacher in middle school who was always encouraging us to speak life to one another. Today I encourage you as you go about your routine to take a moment and speak life over your kids. Blessing our children has power.

That They Would Be Oaks

Isaiah 61:3To grant those who mourn in Zion,Giving them a garland instead of ashes,The oil of gladness instead of mourning,The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting So they will be called oaks of righteousness,The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.

As I lay in bed last night Chris and I were discussing our children and the challenges of raising them in this crazy world. I thought about my true desires for each one of them, and this verse from Isaiah came to the forefront of my mind. I believe that each child has giftings and purpose, but no matter where they go or what they do I long to hear them called Oaks of righteoussness, the planting of the Lord. All of this so that He may be glorified.

I love the symbolism of the oak. It has a strong endurance about it. In this I realize that I cannot plant the oak. Of course I have been given the responsibility to care and nurture, to provide sort of a greenhouse for my kids. I feel great privlege and yes, the great gravity of it all. And so I lean heavily not on my own strength for these great tasks, but on my Source of life.

God let me also be an oak of righteousness that our legacy will be a glory only to You.

New Shoes

There is nothing quite like a new pair of shoes. This is especially true for a first pair of shoes. Micah has really taken off with walking. I suppose technically he had a couple pairs of soft baby shoes as a newborn. My children have never liked hats or shoes as infants so we never really purchased much. We decided this weekend it was time for Micah's first real walking shoes. He's still a little clumsy in them, and it will take some getting used to. He was quite the site toddling in an awkward but adorable stroll around Payless. He was grinning with pride from ear to ear. While witnessing this I am reminded that there is no turning back. He is growing every day. While his first pair of shoes will probably not fit long they symbolize to me all the places he will go. It is as if the whole world is opening up, and he will just walk right into it. Oh how I love my baby.

On another sentimental note, one year ago today Micah was due. He obviously did not agree with our prediction because I was still huge and sweltering in the summer heat.
As you can see I was trying to put on a happy face.


It is funny how in those moments time stands still. I really felt like he would never some out. Here I am a year later still scratching my head wondering where the time went. I apologize for these sappy, nostalgic posts. If you are a parent you should understand completely. If you are not, stick with me, you will probably understand one day.

So that is life for now. Children growing, buying new shoes, having birthdays. I am sure in about a week there will be some Christmas merchandise at Wal-Mart.

To conclude with the photo journey of life here are a few for the road.


Baby girl is getting so big. We have been asked repeatedly by retail clerks, acquaintances, and strangers if she is starting school this year. Nope she's just a tall and mature little girl. I wouldn't have her any other way!

I love this one of Micah. Look closely and you can see his first two teeth. He knows he can flash that smile and get just about anything he wants.


A short clip of some of Micah's first steps

Why I Will Home School My Children

I don’t remember my feelings regarding school in my younger years. As all children do I turned five and in the compliance of state education laws I entered kindergarten. These were not terrible years; I have several fond memories of wonderful teachers who had a passion for education. As I neared junior high I began to feel a great Dissatisfaction with school in general. It was not that I struggled. I generally excelled in academics. I simply failed to ever fit into the ideal model that our society deems acceptable for education. I briefly left the private school I attended most of my life and entered into the public school system in hope of finding that my frustrations were simply from the small, sheltered environment I had experienced. Once again my hopes were dashed when I found a system focused more on standardized testing and pat methods of education while masquerading as a place of diversity. I returned to private school still frustrated with my overall learning experience. I desired the freedom to learn from experience. I longed to be out in the world learning and applying that knowledge. In my mind life was not a classroom so how could we truly learn to function from within one?

Enter my own children many years down the road. Somewhere between holding that sweet bundle of joy in the delivery room to the moment you hear them make their first attempt singing the ABC’s you realize that their future education decisions are solely in your hands. It is very sobering and a bit daunting. Based on my own educational experiences I knew I could not simply take the traditional path. At this point I realized home schooling was to be our option. I will not say it does not frighten me in the least, but I embrace the challenge and honor to take a more hands on responsibility in my children’s education.

I know many people who frown upon home schooling as a sheltered environment with little socialization or formal education. I beg to differ on this. After much research there are so many options available to home schooled children. There are study groups, discussion groups, not to mention general extracurricular activities my kids will have more time to participate in when they are not busy rushing here or there on a busy 9-5 schedule. I long to see my children love learning instead stressing about exams, grades, and homework. I believe there is some validity to bench marks created in the traditional school system, but how many of our children become burned out and lose that spark they had in their eyes the first day of kindergarten. I greatly value a good curriculum, but I guess you could say I desire a hybrid form of education where children can be involved in self directed learning within the parameters of a nurturing environment.

One of the greatest benefits I am excited about is the ability to get out and do something. In a large class it can be difficult to get out much. The logistics of a field trip with an elementary school class can get crazy. I want to travel and actually see the history of this great state. I want to do more than read about science. I want my kids to experiment. Why just read the classics and take a quiz when you can watch a play or participate in a group discussion from a diverse age group? There is just too much to experience in this life, and a one size fits all education model just won’t cut it in my opinion.

I realize the choice to home school is very personal, and it is not for everyone. I know there are many bright young minds brought up in our current education system. I do not choose this path because I am afraid of the world or want to hide my kids from outside influence. My desires are quite the contrary. How can our children learn to think for themselves when they are force fed test taking skills so a school can get some good marks on their TAKS test? What real life skills can be learned when we segregate children into age groups and do not allow them to associate across a more diverse cross section of students? I do not mean this blog to knock teachers in general. There are some amazing teachers who do the best with the limited materials they are given. I only recognize that education has become a very bureaucratic system that does not give many teachers the resources or support they need to be as effective.

If there is anything I desire of other parents it is not necessarily that they home school. Rather I wish that as parents we would take a greater interest in our child’s education. It is not simply a babysitter or a requirement to adhere to the state’s compulsory education requirements. If we do not pay attention to not only what our children are learning, but the methods used to teach, we will find a generation of great test takers who lack true knowledge or experience.

Never Take for Granted

Tonight was one of those nights. A night where I came home and just needed some quiet. The kids were loud. Micah wanted to be held all night. Kaylie wanted a snack, to go the the park, to play, and to interrupt any conversation I was having. I know every mom can relate to what I'm talking about. Sometimes you just want some time for yourself. Time to feel like you are more than just a cook, nurse, and maid. I finally put them to bed, and decided to pull out some old notebooks full of my writings over the years. I came across this poem I wrote the night after I found out I had miscarried our first child.

October 18th
October 18th I found you were not there
My heart was broken, nothing seemed fair.
To know I would not see you
Or get to hold you to my heart,
My soul was devastated.
Will time ever heal this tear?
I am so sad.
I miss you so much now.
In just a few short weeks,
God has given you so much to endow.
You opened my heart is so many ways.
Slowly I would give up my selfishness,
For this love so great.
Baby, God wanted you to be with Him.
So once again I cannot be selfish.
I will give in.
I will always love you, my very first.
I'll keep your little snoopy,
To always remind us of you.
I love you, goodnight,
Until we meet again.

Reading this brought back a flood of memories. My children are my babies and I can never take them for granted. In those times when I'm tired, or feel I can't listen to that song one more time, I remember how precious these gifts are to me. These times are but a moment, and in a blink they will be grown.