Six

Six years. I have been so busy with Isaac and just trying to keep my wits about me with three, I woke up and realized my little girl is turning six on Sunday. As I was up tonight cleaning and preparing for her party all of my emotions and sentiments welled up inside. In the still quiet house my own thoughts became a lot louder and clearer than they are most days.
She's growing up. Yes I know it's only 6. For some reason this is harder than 5 for me. Perhaps it is because this is the year she would have started school if we had chosen not to homeschool. Perhaps it is the fact the Chris and I were reminiscing a few days ago about the last 10 years we have spent since we met. In many ways it seems like a lifetime ago, we have grown and changed so much, yet I can't even believe 10 years could have passed. I asked him if he realized that in 10 more years we would have a 16 year old? At times that seems so distant, but in reality I don't want to think about it because I know how fast time will fly. I always tell Kaylie how it was like only yesterday that I held her in my arms, a fresh, newborn babe. She always laughs and says I am silly. "It seems like a long time growing up for me," she always tells me. I know there is no sense arguing. She is right. It was one of those things we never really experience until we are there.

I sat down to write this and I don't really feel like it went the direction I wanted. What I meant to say is that I love my Kaylie Joyce so very much. A new love I had never known was birthed in me the day I birthed her. I was so proud to call her mine. As she was my first, she has graciously allowed me to grow with her, as I make the common first time parenting mistakes. I have continuously been in awe of her intelligence, beauty, and inner strength. She has a strong mind, and while this can be a challenge, I would not have it any other way. I see Christ molding her and working in her heart. I feel excitement to watch her walk the path He has laid out for her, and sometimes I feel sadness. If there is one thing I am learning it is that my children are gifts on loan to me. One day I will have to let her go fulfill the plans God has for her life. Knowing this only makes our time that much more sacred.

Kaylie I have loved every moment being your mom. I look forward to many more birthdays, many more experiences, and many more memories. What a wonderful treasure you are to me. I will do my very best in the coming year to hold onto each moment. I will work on my patience. I know you are growing, and life is never easy as you try to figure everything out. I know your little brother can drive you crazy, but thank you for caring about his safety and well being at all times. Know that you mean the world to him, and as you grow he will stick up for you in a heartbeat in any situation. I have also loved watching you with Isaac. Having you with me the night I brought him into this world was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. You were a strong little girl, and you have watched over your little brother with such love and grace. I know this has created a special bond between the two of you that will last a lifetime. Thank you for always being you.
You have pushed me out of my comfort zone on numerous occasions, and I appreciate that more than you will ever know.
Happy Birthday my sweet, precious Kaylie bear! I love you more than you will ever know.

Eight Years

In between all the birthday madness I paused to think that in seven days I will celebrate the eight year anniversary of the day that my life was irrevocably changed. It can never compare to the day I fully committed my life to Christ, but in all honesty I was three years old and I cannot remember the actual date so clearly. Never the less this day set my life on the path to the deepest human covenant I will ever know on this earth. On August 31, 2001 Christopher Michael Medrano came crashing into my life. I say crashing only because I was a mess at the time, and my life felt like a whirlwind. Perhaps it is more accurate to say that I crashed into him.

No matter who crashed into who it was a fated journey that has taken us from the tops of mountains to the lows of dark, uncharted valleys. There is something about Chris that is a rare find in any guy. The moment I saw him I would like to say that I felt I was sure and ready that this was it. Unfortunately I was jaded and scared, but the one thing I will forever remember is his face the moment we met. He was completely accepting of me, his smile and eyes welcomed me in with the assurance that says no matter what I will always love you. This was so familiar in a comforting way, because is this not truly the heart of our Father God? Through our years together Chris has continued in this manner. I know I’m difficult and I can be frustrating. There are times when I start in on a rant and I can just hear myself saying in the back of my head,” Crystal just stop, please stop while you are ahead.” Through every moment he has stuck by me and the covenant that we made almost seven years ago now.

I know eight years is not long in the spectrum of life, but as I look around and see so many casualties in the journey of true relationships, I cannot help but feel tremendous blessing. We’ve made it this far and still love each other. I am happy when he comes home from work. I look forward to our times together on the weekend. He’s my lover and my best friend. Of course our relationship has grown and changed as we go through many of life’s milestone. We definitely cannot be as spontaneous as we were before children, but these are but seasons and that time will come again. For now I relish raising children alongside him, stealing a quick date, talking, laughing, and even sometimes arguing. Of course Chris you know it is never me who starts those pesky arguments. =)

So here’s to the love of my life. Thank you for your love and your patience. Above all thanks for your commitment to the covenant you made, and for realizing it is not always about the day to day feelings or whims. You have given me joy unimaginable and a very happy heart!

New Shoes

There is nothing quite like a new pair of shoes. This is especially true for a first pair of shoes. Micah has really taken off with walking. I suppose technically he had a couple pairs of soft baby shoes as a newborn. My children have never liked hats or shoes as infants so we never really purchased much. We decided this weekend it was time for Micah's first real walking shoes. He's still a little clumsy in them, and it will take some getting used to. He was quite the site toddling in an awkward but adorable stroll around Payless. He was grinning with pride from ear to ear. While witnessing this I am reminded that there is no turning back. He is growing every day. While his first pair of shoes will probably not fit long they symbolize to me all the places he will go. It is as if the whole world is opening up, and he will just walk right into it. Oh how I love my baby.

On another sentimental note, one year ago today Micah was due. He obviously did not agree with our prediction because I was still huge and sweltering in the summer heat.
As you can see I was trying to put on a happy face.


It is funny how in those moments time stands still. I really felt like he would never some out. Here I am a year later still scratching my head wondering where the time went. I apologize for these sappy, nostalgic posts. If you are a parent you should understand completely. If you are not, stick with me, you will probably understand one day.

So that is life for now. Children growing, buying new shoes, having birthdays. I am sure in about a week there will be some Christmas merchandise at Wal-Mart.

To conclude with the photo journey of life here are a few for the road.


Baby girl is getting so big. We have been asked repeatedly by retail clerks, acquaintances, and strangers if she is starting school this year. Nope she's just a tall and mature little girl. I wouldn't have her any other way!

I love this one of Micah. Look closely and you can see his first two teeth. He knows he can flash that smile and get just about anything he wants.


A short clip of some of Micah's first steps

Quarter of a Century

In eleven days I will turn twenty five. I have never paid much attention to the passing of time. As I get older I don't really give thought to the number as I still feel like the same old me on January 10th as I did on the 9th. This year has me feeling a bit retrospective. In the small increments life seems almost unchanged, and yet if I look back over twenty five years I am definitely not the exact same person as I was twenty, ten, or even five years ago. Maybe we don't necessarily change as much as different attributes of ourselves bloom and fade with time.

Nevertheless I face the fact that I may not be old but I am inevitably getting older. As long as wisdom is my reward, I cannot complain.