Looking back. Moving Forward

Today we will write the last lines of the last chapter for the 2013-2014 homeschool year.
You would think that with three years under my belt I would be more sure of myself. I end the year with gratefulness and much fear and trembling. The weight of the responsibility God has put upon me to educate my children is sometimes quite heavy. Of course I swiftly realize this heaviness is my own doing, and I quickly repent and let Jesus carry the load.
I will say we have come to a place that I cannot imagine doing anything else. I have seen God knit our family together in an even closer way. We are daily forced to look in the mirror and realize that to work together we must give up pride and selfishness.

We chose homeschooling because we first and foremost felt the great responsibility to provide our children's educational foundation. I also personally had a distaste for the test mills our schools have become. I desired my children to truly learn and to love it, not to  merely cram for a test they would soon forget. I wanted to celebrate their individual personalities and strengths.
Fast forward three years in and I often find myself preoccupied with what my children know. Worrying that they might not measure up to other kids. I was slowly becoming an apologist for our homeschooling ways to strangers who question our decisions in public.
Then it hit me. Am I doing this all so my kids will be indistinguishable in a crowd? Are our core values to work so hard in orde please men?

I fell into the trap. I lost vision of this whole thing called education. Of course I set standards for my children. I want to see them flourish and excel, but not so they can prove to some stranger they're not one of those "weird," homeschooled kids. I desire that they have intelligence tempered with character, love for people that softens selfish ambition, and wisdom that permeates every decision they will face as they grow and leave this home. Most importantly I pray that they are pleasing to God. I cannot force these things. I cannot build robots after my own will. What I will strive to do is be the greenhouse for their little souls by allowing the sunshine in. This is not hiding them from the world, but providing a safe place to grow and be nurtured until my little one's are ready to put roots down in that big, wide world.

Today we celebrate all that has been accomplished. I am so proud of my children. They put up with me and that says a lot! They have worked hard. We have laughed and cried. We've worked through a lot of junk. We haven't arrived, but we are on our way. Now we enter the reward in this season of rest, and prepare our hearts for the new year to come.

Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better 
Colossians 1:10

Curriculum Reviews

I've talked a little bit about our homeschooling endeavors but I have never really gone into depth regarding the curriculum we use. I thought I'd post a little review for those out there who may be curious about homeschooling, or looking for materials. I found that reviews from other parents were so helpful in making our decisions.

A little about our family:
This is my second full year to homeschool. I have a 7 year old girl and two boys ages 4 and 18 months. My daughter is in second grade. I have not officially started schooling the 4 year old, but he learns a lot just by hanging around. He even likes to participate in activities and projects every now and then.

Our homeschooling style:
We dabble in a few areas. My daughter and I like structure a little too much to be unschoolers. Our curriculum follows a Charlotte Mason/ unit studies approach.

Our curriculum:
Our core is My Father's World. This year we are using Adventures in My Father's World which encompasses an overview of the history of North America and the subsequent founding of the United States. It includes an overview of all basic sciences as well as basic geography appropriate for this age.
We use Singapore Math, Primary Language Lessons , and Spelling by Sound and Structure.

The Lowdown:
 I must preface my review by saying my daughter loves, loves, loves this material. She actually asks to do school work on Saturdays sometimes. Now what kids wants to have school on Saturday?
I have thoroughly enjoyed the way My Father's World is laid out. It gives me enough structure to have confidence, but leeway to adapt plans and work around different schedules. This year's curriculum is laid out in 34 weeks with one week being an optional week of lighter activities for Thanksgiving. It is planned around a typical 5 day school week, but can be worked around a variety of schedules. Friday is a lighter day reserved only for math and reading. The rest of the day students are encouraged to get outside and enjoy nature.   The curriculum includes lots of great books and a list of recommended resources. We spend a lot of time at the library. My daughter struggled a bit last year as she learned to read. She would dread anytime she was asked to read aloud, but with much practice, and the wonderful book recommendations she wants to read all of the time now! I also love the hands on activities included in the curriculum. It really makes a lasting impression on my children. They are no longer just memorizing facts, it is coming to life. The science is taught through a series of Usborne science books. They are easy enough for a child to understand, but the experiments are fun and really drive all of the concepts home. I remember a lot of busy work when I was in elementary school. I love that everything we do in our studies has a purpose. Each concept flows together and many key topics are reinforced across each subject. This continuity allows time for learning to sink in, without seeming boring or repetitive.
Singapore math is new to us this year. I have to say math is usually intimidating to me. Obviously I can do second grade math at this time in my life, but I always worry about explaining it in a way my daughter will understand. I have been blessed that math comes fairly naturally to her. All of this to say I have loved Singapore math so far. It has a great way of explaining each concept. I really feel it has instilled confidence in my daughter. It is great at explaining problems in a visual way so she begins to think mathematically.
Primary Language Lessons is a different approach to teaching English. Instead of teaching the traditional nouns, verb, adjectives, etc. it starts by teaching children to hear, recite, and speak correctly. The book contains passages for memorization, copy work, and picture studies. I was unsure about this style in the beginning. So far Kaylie has really enjoyed this. I was worried about the memorization, but she has enjoyed it. It is an amazing thing to listen to my 7 year old recite poetry to me, even my 4 year old son is picking up a lot of what he hears. It is so true that hearing correct speech is the key to learning a language correctly. If one already speaks correctly, all of the learned structure that comes later will make more sense.
I do not have much commentary on our spelling program. My daughter has excelled so far, and I have no complaints in regards to the presentation of material.
Overall we are extremely pleased with the materials. My Father's World does include a Bible curriculum for each year. I often worry that many Biblical materials will come off as a bit cheesy. There are times when recommended wording or discussions don't quite fit my style, but the Biblical truths presented are sound. I take these opportunities to have heartfelt discussions with my daughter about life and questions she may have. The goal is to take our knowledge and be lights in the world, not to hide away in our "safe" environment. I use these times to drive this home, and talk about ways we can serve others with the love Jesus has shared with us.

I hope this has been helpful to anyone looking for more information on educational materials. I am by no means a homeschooling expert. I know many mothers have tried a variety of materials and educational styles. The great thing about homeschooling is that one size does not have to fit all. The best thing is getting to know your child and learning how to create an environment that will allow them to grow and thrive. If you have any further questions about these materials please feel free to include it in a comment below. If you are interested in reading more about these materials you can check them out here
https://www.mfwbooks.com/.

A Race Well Finished

Last Friday we ended our first year of homeschooling. It was the most challenging year of parenting, as I embarked on the adventure of staying home almost full time while balancing an infant, 3 year old, and a 6 year old with a mind of her own. I've never felt like I was a pro at this. I always feel I have to work at it, but my husband constantly reminds me that even when I don't feel adequate, the fact that I acknowledge my weakness and strive to be better is the simple love kids need to thrive.
A quick recap of our year. We started a little later than the public schools as I waited for our materials to arrive. I struggled with whether or not to start Kaylie as a kindergartner (which she would be in the public school system) or to skip up to first grade. The curriculum I chose seemed a little too basic on the kindergarten level. I knew it might be a little too easy, and I didn't want her to be bored half way through the year. We had already started working on some writing, and blending basic consonant-vowel sounds, so I knew she was past reading the usual cat, dog, etc. I continually questioned myself throughout the year, not that she did not do well, but I either worried I was pushing her too hard, or she might not quite be ready for second grade. In those moments I had to take a step back and remind myself why we homeschool. Learning is not a sprint or competition. Each child develops at their own pace. Obviously there are certain markers we use to help realize when certain areas need some improvement, but overall the joy of learning should be what compels us up the ladder.
By the end of this year Kaylie is reading fairly well. I have had her writing several creative stories as well as her first short report on our trip to Belgium. She excelled very well in math. By the end of the year she had started doing two and three digit addition and subtraction. There are still some areas we will continue to brush up on. Telling time has been a bit of a struggle. I believe this is actually due to the fact that she does not go to a brick and mortar school and is not on a rigid schedule. I realized that the best way to remedy this was not simply with worksheets, but keeping a loose schedule throughout the day and writing down the time of days that we do things. This gives her a better sense of what time is as opposed to just reading the clock.
The program we used this year had a lot of fun science experiments. We fed ants, made a water wheel, sprouted and grew bean plants, studied trees and flowers. She really enjoyed this part of school. I am hoping next year we can do even more as Micah will be a little older and more willing to participate.
Kaylie learned a lot about the Bible this year. Her reading lessons took her through an abridged children's version of the old and new testament. It really opened the door for her and I to have a lot of conversations about life in the real world. I know many people feel that homeschooling in a biblical environment causes children to be in a bubble. On the contrary I always strive to be honest with Kaylie in a way she will understand. We do not live in a perfect world, and I know she has seen this first hand. Being together has let us talk about these things, and how God sees things. I love the compassionate heart I see developing her as a result of this.
The most important lessons we learned this year were the ones on patience and forgiveness. I have struggled trying to figure everything out, and have not always been the best teacher, but I have learned to go to Kaylie when I know I have lost my patience and ask for her forgiveness. In turn she has done the same with me. It's not perfect but that is life. Learning to grow and live with one another are some of the most important life lessons.
I am excited for summer and some relaxation. We will continue reading and some writing, but it will be informal and relaxed just to keep us sharp. I plan on using My Father's Worth again next year while supplementing Singapore math, some spelling and Language arts, and probably a foreign language through rosetta stone. My hope is that next year we will continue to develop in our methods. I am also hoping to start my own homeschool connection group. If you homeschool and live in the DFW area and  are looking to connect please contact me.
That pretty much sums it up for the year. It was a bit long, but that's what happens when I take forever to blog.
Any questions or comments on homeschooling? Please leave a comment.

Home School Update

I realized today we have been homeschooling over half the year and I have yet to update. Well I am glad to say we are progressing right along. Believe me it has not been without some heartache. There are many days I know Kaylie and I probably would rather lock ourselves in our rooms because I'll just say it.... home school can be frustrating. I will also say it has been a glorious adventure. I know it is building character in her as well as me. After extensively searching I think we have finally found a little home school network we can fit into and make new friends. This was really key for me. I could see Kaylie really desiring friendship, and I could use some encouragement along the way as well.

We have stuck with the My Father's World curriculum this year. I have enjoyed the layout, being a new homeschooling mom. It gives a well laid out plan, but allows freedom to be creative and move things around. I am still not sure if we will continue with it next year. Meeting other homeschooling parents has opened my eyes to some of the other great curriculum out there. Right now my goal is to finish this year strong. I have definitely realized Kaylie has a high aptitude for math. Yikes! This is not good for momma, but you gotta adapt! I was always more of a reading, literature kind of girl. There is one thing I continue to tell myself, this is not about me. The main reason I did not want her in public school, was because I did not want her learning style to be crammed into their square hole. I have to be careful not to do the same thing when I am teaching her. I wish I had more great insights to offer. I am honestly still feeling my way through the dark. The best thing I can offer is keep at it. It is an exercise in winning your child's heart. It is not about control, but more about building a bond of love so when the day comes for them to choose, they are well equipped to make the right decisions.

My greatest surprise in homeschooling has been Micah's ability to retain information. I am not formally educating him right now. He only overhears what I teach Kaylie. We were all stunned when Kaylie was going over the books in the Old Testament, and he rattled off about half without help. Those are not easy names to remember. I was impressed!

I am in no way a home school expert, but I encourage anyone who has questions or just needs guidance to seek out other moms. Support it so helpful. I am available to answer any questions as best I can, and if you live in the DFW area we can possibly even set up a time to chat.

Well that's my update for "mid-year." I will try and update a couple more times before the end of they year. We have an awesome opportunity to go to Belgium and France this spring for my little brother's wedding. I am hoping to take advantage of this great opportunity to teach some valuable lessons. That is the great thing about homeschooling. We are a traveling classroom!

All for His Glory

I am the proud mommy of a 7 month old. Wait! What??!!! This could not be possible. I just gave birth to him around yesterday, right? I would also like to note I am also the proud mommy of a 6 year old and 3 year old. I am still trying to figure out when they grew up. I seriously just bought pants, how could they have shrunk 3 inches. They just don't make pants like they used to. Am I right?
Seriously, this year is flying by. It is has been fraught with trials and tribulations, but also permeated with sweet, sweet love. My little Isaac is such a joy. He is so different from his siblings, and yet he fits right in with them. He has been fairly mobile since about 4 1/2 months. He really hit a good crawl around 5 months so I have been very busy since then. I was not prepared for such early mobility. He started pulling up around 6 months so we'll see if walking is in the not too distant future. He has really developed a sense of humor. He knows when he is getting into something he shouldn't. Chris or I will just look at him and he will burst into giggles. I could not imagine life without this little guy. Our family life is that much richer with him around.
My precious Kaylie is thriving in her homeschooling and dance this year. I think I am learning more. It is definitely a lesson in patience, but I love learning with her. She is so intelligent. Home school is not without its challenges, but it has been a delight to watch her learn and discover. She asks questions all the time, and offers many great insights. I love her so dearly.
She is also becoming quite the little ballerina and tapper. She has her first performance this weekend at a holiday market. She is very excited and very nervous. I cannot wait to see her perform. My baby is growing up!
My sweet Micah has become quite the wordsmith. We always thought he would be the quiet one, but this past year has seen an explosion in his language skills. A not so welcome side effect is an increase in his argumentative skills. Ah 3 year olds. He really is a sweetheart. He is extremely loveable and also quite the comedienne He's even made his first best friend in life, which means we spend a lot of time outside playing with his buddy.

I continue growing and adjusting in my role as part time stay at home mom. I'd like to say I've got it all together and I never have meltdowns. Hmmm I think I'm learning that it's just one day at a time. I'm also learning I need Jesus for EVERYTHING. I thought I knew that, but I learn it a little more everyday.

After a brief stint with a second job at Starbucks, Chris and I both felt we needed him to be home more. It was a huge leap of faith, and I was concerned about making ends meet, but I was so tired I had no will to fight it anymore. His last day was last week, and he and I set off for a much needed getaway. While finances had been tight, I had set aside some planned commissions from work so we could take our first trip without kids since we had Kaylie. It was only two days, but it was just what we needed to recharge our batteries and reconnect. Right before we left Chris received a call to set up an interview with a potential employer. We've been praying a lot about this lately, but I have had so many disappointments I didn't want to get my hopes up. Yesterday Chris interviewed and was offered the job. Not only is the pay better, but it is so close to home that we will save a significant amount just from the extra gas and tolls we will not be paying. I kept remembering the verse in Psalms 8 that say What is man that You are mindful of him? I am truly humbled. I have had several one sided shouting matches with God in my frustrations. Of course when I step back into my right mind I am reminded of His sovereignty. Who I am next to Him is really nothing, yet He chooses to bless me. He chooses to care. It may not happen when or how I want it. In the end it's not about me. All things for His glory. I am grateful.

Spent

I wish I had something inspiring to say. Alas I do not. I never realized how difficult it is to be sick with three kids. Coordinating naps has not worked out. In a moment when I think I can catch a quick nap and recharge, a cry comes from the crib, WWIII breaks out over some coveted toy, or I remember something I needed to do. Here I am though writing instead of sleeping. I think I have some pent up emotion from they day I needed to let it out. It's sort of like having an adult conversation, albeit one-sided, but I'll take what I can get these days.
This cold is beating me down. I wish I could say I've been a patient, soft spoken mom. Oh how I wish. The tired side of me is enough to make even me cringe. Sometimes it is work to cherish the moments that you know will pass quickly. It can be hard enough taking care of yourself with young ones even on your best days. Throw in feeling icky and I start feeling like a washed up, faded version of my former self.

I love my kids. I am ever so grateful to be a mom. I realize that days like this are but a small speck in the spectrum of our lives. Right now I'm just tired. I need some good sleep, and if the weather could drop down below 100, well that would be welcome too.

Oh Sleep....Will We Ever Meet Again?

I can't lie. Lack of sleep is really starting to catch up to me. Isaac will be 14 weeks old this Saturday and he still does not sleep through the night. There was one blessed night two weeks ago. He slept until 6am. I never knew how refreshing uninterrupted sleep until 6am could be. I was excited and hopeful. Perhaps, I thought, we are on the downward slope. My optimism was quickly dashed the next night when he made up for it by waking up at 2am and 4am. Isaac is such a sweethart and I know it takes longer for some babies to get to that point. Nevertheless I started to calculate how long it has really been for me considering I did not sleep through the night during the last months of pregnancy, and I am going on 6 months now. It really starts to not only come down to quantity but quality. On the weekends Chris has really tried to let me sleep a little longer, but the interruptions really make a difference. I am getting a first hand glimpse of how effective sleep deprivation could be as a means of torture.
One day I will care about taking the time to really fix my hair, one day I'll be up early just to exercise, one day my mind will be a little more than mush.

Seriously though, I am enjoying the journey, even if I'm a little groggy along the way. Isaac continues to be such a joy. I haven't weighed him since his two month check-up, but he is definitely over 14 lbs. He just started rolling over, but he has been scooting himself across a blanket for a couple of weeks. He is such a cuddle bug. His smile melts my heart everyday. I love to watch his siblings interact with him. They love him so much.

I am learning to embrace the challenges of being a part time stay at home mom of three kids. While things are definitely tight with me working less, I have gained something so much more. I used to go to bed feeling like maybe I hadn't done enough with the kids. What if I woke up one morning and they were all grown up, and all I had was regret for not taking the time to really enjoy their lives? Each day is not perfect, and I struggle to adapt, but I feel like each day is truly seized. I am so grateful for each day I am given to watch my kids grow, and to grow with them.
I suppose there are many more years ahead to catch up on sleep.

Juggling

I really thought I would have more time to write here once I was home. I am laughing at myself as I write that. Who am I kidding? Staying home with three kids under the age of five has been one of the greatest challenges of my life. I really do love having this time with them, and I am not missing the work world. We are definitely still adjusting to a routine. I feel like I am always just staying ahead enough to keep from wiping out completely . It is like being on a treadmill that speeds up at regular intervals.
Chris continues to tell me not to be so hard on myself, that this is all still new and things will settle down soon enough. I will continue to try and believe him. I am lucky that he is there with an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on as I continue to hash all of this out.
I have found my greatest challenge to be an adorable little 2 1/2 year old boy that has more energy pulsing through his veins than I can keep up with. Micah has hit that age where constant arms length supervision is a must. He has figured out that when nursing I am kind of out of commission for a bit. He deems these as the best times to flush whole roles of toilet paper down the toilet, help himself to a snack (this is usually something messy like yogurt), and go treasure hunting in his sisters room. Those off you who have little brothers know what kind of mess this leads to.
Nevertheless we are still alive and well. I am learning and grateful for the time God has given me with my children. Every moment I want to tear my hair out I remember what great patience and love God deals with me. Of course at the end of a long day when the two oldest shower me with hugs and I love you's, or when Isaac finishes eating and gives me a huge gummy smile, my heart melts.
Maybe juggling can be fun, once you get the hang of it.
Yes it is all worth it.

Baby Shower Time

Things always change by the time you get to your third baby. You've been down the road before. You've honed your skills on what items are necessary and those that are frivolous. I almost feel guilty for how practical I look at things when it comes to this child. Please don't get me wrong, I am very excited to welcome Isaac into the world. He will have his own unique personality and purpose. I just knew that having one child of each gender already, there were few things we really had to buy. Due to compact space we have for our growing family, we would not be able to put a lot into a specific nursery theme. In spite of these things I wanted Isaac to be able to look back and know that he was still celebrated, and just as an important in his arrival has his brother and sister.

Chris and my best friend Alyson came together and did just that yesterday. I am amazed that even some 200 miles apart they coordinated together so well. It was a wonderful shower, and it warmed my heart to have friends and family celebrate with us. We received some really awesome gifts that will replace some of our current baby items that are shall we say a bit worn.

Thanks to our new computer I am happy to finally include some pictures our happy day.





The guys lent their "expert" baby shower decorating skills.

I was impressed that when put in charge of picking out a cake, Chris decided petit fours would be an appropriate choice for a shower. Any men reading, please do not revoke his man card. His other pass times include sports, video games, and action flicks.

Micah gave his seal of approval to all of the snacks.

The lovely Alyson...aka best friend a girl could ask for.

On some demented note they decided a game involving eating baby food would be exciting. Of course none of the planners participated. I was surprised at how competitive this game became! It also has me rethinking feeding jar food to Isaac. Some of this stuff is just awful.

Can you see my excitement???!!! Many of you heard my my desperate cry for help via facebook. Now should the baby come overnight, Chris will not be forced to ride by horseback to the nearest general store for diapers.


My practical side was thrilled to receive several packs of nursing pads. Are you starting to see how having multiple children changes you?Here is my pretty princess, preparing to be a big sister once again. She has paved the way bravely for her siblings, by bearing with me as I have worked through all the trials and errors of parenthood. I couldn't imagine my life without her, and I know she will be a great little helper.

Thank you to everyone who came in the middle of your weekend to show love and support. We are down to the last few weeks or maybe days, and I look forward to introducing our newest member to each of you very soon!

It May Be Crazy, but I'll Take It

Late Christmas day I stood in the kitchen washing dishes. My feet were tired and I was generally just emotionlly and physically tired. I love Christmas, but after a long two days of last minute shopping, hauling gifts to grandparents, hauling gifts home, and cooking my body was exhausted. I quickly realized that maybe there were one too many toys that made various squeaks and noises. Couple that with the occasional sibling argument over a toy, and I was ready to lock myself away for some peace and quiet.

I love to look back on these moments because God has a way of subtly shifting the heart's focus. As the ipod played Christmas music in the background a song came on that instantly took me back six years in time. I was a broken woman, broken from loss. I was still recovering from a miscarriage two months prior. It was a pregnancy I had not particularly planned or been too enthusiastic about in the beginning which made the eventual loss all the more devastating. God had been working in me to build the heart of a mother. Before I was all too selfish and absorbed with the inconvenience a child could bring. As my heart and mentality began to change I was crushed when it all seemed to be ripped away with one trip to the doctor and a heartbreaking sonogram.

That Christmas all my heart longed for was a child, not a baby to replace the one lost, but to soothe the aching mother's heart that had been conceived, but not fully formed. Little did I know that Christmas season that just two weeks later I would find out I was carrying our beloved Kaylie. She was my Christmas gift, and one that would carry Chris and I to a new level of love as people and parents. God was faithful to us that Christmas and has continued that work of chiseling a mother's heart into me.

As I came back to the reality of loud toys and boisterous children I looked at the situation from a different place. These children are my gifts and my inheritence. It may be crazy and I may be tired, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

The Tiles of My Mosaic

Wow, life! I often feel the sense that these little everyday moments are small and insignificant. Of course I step back to behold that each little piece has fit into this incredible mosaic that is always growing with time. It's not that the picture's pieces have changed, but the perspective is always expanding.

Without further ado, let's jump right into the current work of art.

My kids just keep growing. I couldn't be a prouder mom. Can I tell you that after a long day of work in a fairly unkind world, there is nothing more heart warming than to come home to two children who smile uncontrollably at their first sight of me?
Here's a fairly current picture of the boy. Micah was starting to get a fairly shaggy hairdo. While it was adorable, his vision started to suffer.

Here is a beforeand here he enjoys perhaps a little cooler, less cumbersome style

I have never met a little boy more lovable and sweet. He is constantly giving us hugs and kisses at random moments in the day. What a gift he is to our family.

Here just might be the most beautiful girl in the entire world.

She is always astounding me with her knowledge and intelligent questions. She is never without something to say. Kaylie has a sensitive spirit, but a strong will. It is quite the combination, and I couldn't imagine her any other way.
She also loves to help out around the kitchen. Her specialty? Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches of course.What would life be without family? I can't even imagine.

We have steadily continued our daily routine. I have stayed busy as work has picked up for the first time in a long time. I do not know about the economy elsewhere, but Texas is picking up a little steam. The increased pace has only fanned the flames of my desire to be home with my kids. I am believing that this season will pass soon because as you can see who wouldn't want to be home with these to awesome kids?
Chris has also stayed persevering in his day job. With tax season soon behind things will start to pick up for him as well. We work hard knowing that with each debt that is gone we are steps closer to fulfilling the dreams God has put in our heart. Of course the daily act is more difficult, but it is a lot better when we have each other to come home to. That is as long as one of us does not become too grouchy. Of course that would never be me!

This summer will also mark our fourth year in this home. It is not exactly where I expected we would be four years later, but I count our blessings that we have escaped the mass foreclosure wave that swept the country in the last two years. It is my hope that we will be able to sell in the next year or so. This house does not leave much room for a family to grow.

That's right I said it. Not that I am making anything official, but I have actually had the thoughts cross my mind that maybe another little one might not be that bad sometime in the future. Ever since I had Micah the thought of more kids has not been at the forefront of my mind. Honestly I am quite happy with my boy and girl. It also can be a bit overwhelming as you go through those early stages and sleepless nights. I have found God has strange way of working in my heart. In the last month I actually believed I was pregnant. I've never been one to be abnormal so four pregnancy tests later I was still sure something was not right. At first I was upset. I thought of all the reasons why pregnancy was just not the right things at this moment. Fears of work, money, space, and time crept into my mind. Then my heart began to change. I know that no life is a mistake. It is God that gives life. Part of me began to finally realize that no matter what we believe we are never the one's with the ultimate say. God's plans are perfect. I am not saying that people should not be prepared when having children or be rash in decision making, but in the end God is in control. I was actually a little sad when it was finally confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was not pregnant. I am not rushing into anything because of this experience, but my heart is open. Children are a blessing from God. Yes even when they are screaming or wake you up at 2 a.m.

This blog has probably summed up enough for now. I have some challah bread waiting to go into the oven. Our family is not Jewish, but I believe strongly in God's command for rest once a week so I leave you with this. May you have a Shabbat Shalom tomorrow. May the peace of God be with you.

Counting Blessings

I sit here on an early Wednesday morning enjoying a cup of coffee, listening to the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack, and preparing for another work day. My heart is full. Each day this week has brought a reminder of God's unfailing love. I can't adequately explain, but the heaviness that usually overtakes me as I sit down to work has been replaced by such an abiding joy. This is not to say that the day does not bring its trials. I still get frustrated. At times I am overwhelmed when I come home to a plethora of activites that desire my attention. In spite of these Christ remains!

I have another blessing to add to the every growing list. This is for healthy kids. Monday we had check-ups for both Micah and Kaylie. The experience was less than perfect. A long wait beforehand combined with Micah's newly acquired fear of strangers, and a meltdown from both childern after a round of immunizations made the visit mentally tiring. The great news is I have two healthy and thriving kids. Even with Kaylie's recent bouts with asthma, our doctor was quite pleased that neither Kaylie or Micah have needed immediate medical attention recently. I know we are not immune, but with fears of swine flu and all sorts of sickness God has kept us. For this I am grateful.

We undertook another great feat at the beginning of this week. We decided it was time to wean Micah from his pacifier. I know this is a controversial issue with many parents. It was hard for me because Kaylie naturally stopped using a pacifier after her first birthday. On the other hand Micah has clung to his and is ever so reluctant to give it up. We have also been guilty of using this as a crutch. If he was crying or whining persistently it was a natural inclination to pop a pacifier in his mouth. I noticed he did not attempt to talk as much. Any babble that he did do was always with the pacifier in his mouth. I am pleased to say today will be the fourth day Micah has been without his pacifier. We made it through a fairly traumatic doctor's visit and a couple of really fussy nights, but we did it! I know we are probably not completely out of this woods yet, but I know we did the right thing. He is already starting to try and talk more. He had a nice conversation with Chris last night. Of course we are not really sure what it was about, but he was really into it!

I pray that today would be the best Wednesday ever and that you would be acutely aware of God's great love in your life. May you experience all of the peace, joy, and fulness that He has in store for you!

A Day As a Stay At Home Mom

I t was my first time alone with just me and the kids. I know that probably sounds weird to the modern family of the twenty first century. Call us crazy but Chris and I just like to be together. Of course we argue and get on each other’s nerves at times, but there is something comforting about having each other around. What can I say, we love each other. We eat every dinner together as a family and spend most of our weeknights at home watching movies, playing the Wii, or talking. Chris has never had to travel with his job so it took me a bit by surprise when he was asked to travel to Chicago for a trade show. I really thought it would be no big deal a few days away and time will go by quickly. I didn’t think much of it and when Sunday came we said our goodbyes and dropped him off at the airport. I made plans for the next two days to keep the kids busy and give ourselves a little routine.

I was holding up well until we came home from swimming that afternoon. The kids were well behaved, but even when they are it is still a little work when you are used to having such a great helper around. I know I am spoiled and I have so much respect for women who have husbands who travel or are in the military and especially for any single mom. My hat is off to you! Something about coming home and the kids napping and a great quiet settles over everything. Suddenly it hits me that it’s just a little too lonely without my best friend around. Of course right about that time I get a phone call and that always makes things a little better.

Finally I get to what I really wanted to blog about. That is my day as a stay at home mom. It was bittersweet because of course I missed my sweetheart, but it was also glorious in so many ways. Of course all of you stay at home moms know there is no such things as sleeping in even when you don’t have an office waiting for you at 8am. Around seven I hear a voice next to me saying,” mommy, mommy, its morning, and I had a good nap.” Kaylie makes no distinction between sleeping through the night and taking a nap so she always just tells me she had a good nap. I ask her to please give me just a few more minutes, but then five minutes later I here Micah drumming on his crib waiting for me to come greet him. At this point I’m up. There’s just too much day to waste sleeping. I actually get to make breakfast since we are not in a rush to get out the door, and we enjoyed a gourmet breakfast of biscuits and bacon while watching my personal favorite, Sesame Street. After packing bags and quick baths we head out on our first adventure, story time at the library. My mom usually takes the kids on Thursday, but we decided to catch the Monday edition. It cute and quirky and Kaylie loves it. I was pleasantly surprised to see how much she participates. She used to be a little shy, but she really gets involved now. Micah spent most of story time trying to wriggle out of my arms so he could crawl around the room. Story time just isn’t as appealing to him yet. Afterwards we had to scrap our plans for the park as the rain started to fall. We opted instead for the mall’s indoor playground. What a zoo that place is! Micah really enjoyed it despite the chaos and my constant worrying that he would be trampled. He took his first few steps on Friday so this was his big chance to display his skills to the world.

As the rain fell intermittently through the morning I decided that we should head home for a short nap. I was successful at getting the boy to sleep, but Kaylie tends to talk nonstop in an attempt to fight sleep. At last the house was quiet and a soft rain started to beat on the windows. I cannot describe how wonderful it was to take that nap as I listened to the rain fall. How often I sit at work watching the rain just wishing I could be at home in bed. It really was all it is cracked up to be. It wasn’t a long nap, but just enough to recharge for the afternoon. I loaded up the kids and picked my parents up at the airport so we could meet Melody at The Incredible Pizza Company. It was good to spend some time with them, and a great help with the kids. That place is nuts and I could not imagine going by myself with the kids. I cannot believe how loud it was even on a Monday afternoon.

I left with two happy kids and realized it was already past four, the time I would normally be coming home from work. Why must the day go by so quickly when we are having fun?

We settled in at home and I began to prepare for the following day. I wanted everything in order since I alone would be responsible for packing bags and getting them off to grandmas. It was rough knowing it would be back to the old routine. It is no easy task managing children and a home. I will never be one to say that moms who stay home have it easier than those of us who work. I will say that the time I have had to play a stay at home mom with my children is still by far more rewarding than any other job I have ever done.

Why Do They Grow Up so Fast?

With Micah's first birthday rapidly approaching I can't help but feel excitement and sadness. I love my kid's birthdays. Maybe more than they do. It is a blessing to my life to celebrate their the unique contribution they made to the human race the day they made their grand entrance into this world. While some may dread planning parties, noisy kids, and a messy clean up, I embrace it!

All of this nostalgia over upcoming birthdays has me looking at some photos of how the kids have changed. Having Micah has made me remember some of the little things I forgot Kaylie did when she was going through these same stages. There are many similarities in how children develop, but I love how they each do it with their own flair. Here are some pictures of my kids through the years as they have moved, humored, frustrated, and delighted me.

I wanted to post some newborn pictures of Kaylie, but I realized they were not stored on this computer. That will have to be for another time. This picture was taken on vacation when Kaylie was about four months old. She surprised us that night by breaking into uncontrollable laughter. Every parent remembers when their child laughs a real genuine laugh for the first time. It is wonderful.

Here she is at about seven month. Her uncle had just come home from France, and they spent the afternoon goofing around.



This was Kaylie's first birthday. It was a Dora party of course! Chris stayed up late the night before decorating, and she was so thrilled when she woke up the next morning and came downstairs.
On to her second party. which ended up being Dora as well. Dora was like a family member for a few years. There is still nothing comparable to those piercing blue eyes.
Kaylie at her third birthday party. We finally broke the streak and had a princess party at Chuck E. Cheese. She enjoyed it so much and I got a pass on cleaning since I just had Micah two weeks prior. Micah on his first day. He was so sweet and cuddly. I'll never forget the nurse laying him on my chest right after delivery. Those chocolate brown eyes would melt any heart.


I think this was a couple weeks after his birth. He was still getting used to the flashing cameras.
Micah's first trip to the fair. As you can see he wasn't totally impressed. I'm sure that will change this year.
I believe this was taken around Christmas time. Still working on the camera poses.
Micah on his first vacation.

Seven months old and working the camera with a smile.
And here is my boy today, already taking the first steps to full on walking.
Wow they grow up fast, but it's such a fun ride!

California Here We Come!

Ahhh vacation. The words always sound so sweet! We are headed off at the end of this week for what seems to be a yearly trip to California. We always discuss other ideas, and we always say we will do something different next year, but here we go again. Honestly it just feels like home, and we know we can relax here even with two kids. We also got a really good deal on some Disney tickets. Three days for the kids price. This probably will be our last trip here for awhile...seriously. We would like to take the kids to Disney World in Florida, but we decided we want to wait until they are both a little older. It is so big and there is so much to do we want everyone to be able to enjoy it without diaper changes or bottles to make.
We have been truly blessed to be able to get away for the kids so often. It has helped that my dear dad works for American. I am excited to say we have paid for the trip completely with cash, and with the use of some creative budget planning it will come off being quite affordable. Gotta love priceline and restaurant coupons! My parents are going to come out for a couple of days because Disney has a promotion going on right now. If you come on your birthday you get in free. My dad's birthday just happens to be the 30th. Who could pass that up when you can practically fly for free! I know it will be a welcome break after 2 weeks of hard work in Africa.
We are also going to take a day and go to Santa Monica. I love the beach and all of the quirky shops and entertainment. It is so invigorating. I am looking forward to sharing the tradition once again with my kids. I keep telling Kaylie she should be so thankful for the opportunity she has been given. She may still be too young to understand, but I never want her to take for granted what she has. It is amazing to look back at past trips and see how she has grown.
Here she is on her first trip,only 4 months old.



A vacation right after her second birthday
Her most recent trip.I look forward to the new memories we will create with our kids, and the fun that comes along with it. Now I need to focus on cleaning and packing before work starts back up tomorrow.