A Race Well Finished

Last Friday we ended our first year of homeschooling. It was the most challenging year of parenting, as I embarked on the adventure of staying home almost full time while balancing an infant, 3 year old, and a 6 year old with a mind of her own. I've never felt like I was a pro at this. I always feel I have to work at it, but my husband constantly reminds me that even when I don't feel adequate, the fact that I acknowledge my weakness and strive to be better is the simple love kids need to thrive.
A quick recap of our year. We started a little later than the public schools as I waited for our materials to arrive. I struggled with whether or not to start Kaylie as a kindergartner (which she would be in the public school system) or to skip up to first grade. The curriculum I chose seemed a little too basic on the kindergarten level. I knew it might be a little too easy, and I didn't want her to be bored half way through the year. We had already started working on some writing, and blending basic consonant-vowel sounds, so I knew she was past reading the usual cat, dog, etc. I continually questioned myself throughout the year, not that she did not do well, but I either worried I was pushing her too hard, or she might not quite be ready for second grade. In those moments I had to take a step back and remind myself why we homeschool. Learning is not a sprint or competition. Each child develops at their own pace. Obviously there are certain markers we use to help realize when certain areas need some improvement, but overall the joy of learning should be what compels us up the ladder.
By the end of this year Kaylie is reading fairly well. I have had her writing several creative stories as well as her first short report on our trip to Belgium. She excelled very well in math. By the end of the year she had started doing two and three digit addition and subtraction. There are still some areas we will continue to brush up on. Telling time has been a bit of a struggle. I believe this is actually due to the fact that she does not go to a brick and mortar school and is not on a rigid schedule. I realized that the best way to remedy this was not simply with worksheets, but keeping a loose schedule throughout the day and writing down the time of days that we do things. This gives her a better sense of what time is as opposed to just reading the clock.
The program we used this year had a lot of fun science experiments. We fed ants, made a water wheel, sprouted and grew bean plants, studied trees and flowers. She really enjoyed this part of school. I am hoping next year we can do even more as Micah will be a little older and more willing to participate.
Kaylie learned a lot about the Bible this year. Her reading lessons took her through an abridged children's version of the old and new testament. It really opened the door for her and I to have a lot of conversations about life in the real world. I know many people feel that homeschooling in a biblical environment causes children to be in a bubble. On the contrary I always strive to be honest with Kaylie in a way she will understand. We do not live in a perfect world, and I know she has seen this first hand. Being together has let us talk about these things, and how God sees things. I love the compassionate heart I see developing her as a result of this.
The most important lessons we learned this year were the ones on patience and forgiveness. I have struggled trying to figure everything out, and have not always been the best teacher, but I have learned to go to Kaylie when I know I have lost my patience and ask for her forgiveness. In turn she has done the same with me. It's not perfect but that is life. Learning to grow and live with one another are some of the most important life lessons.
I am excited for summer and some relaxation. We will continue reading and some writing, but it will be informal and relaxed just to keep us sharp. I plan on using My Father's Worth again next year while supplementing Singapore math, some spelling and Language arts, and probably a foreign language through rosetta stone. My hope is that next year we will continue to develop in our methods. I am also hoping to start my own homeschool connection group. If you homeschool and live in the DFW area and  are looking to connect please contact me.
That pretty much sums it up for the year. It was a bit long, but that's what happens when I take forever to blog.
Any questions or comments on homeschooling? Please leave a comment.

Home School Update

I realized today we have been homeschooling over half the year and I have yet to update. Well I am glad to say we are progressing right along. Believe me it has not been without some heartache. There are many days I know Kaylie and I probably would rather lock ourselves in our rooms because I'll just say it.... home school can be frustrating. I will also say it has been a glorious adventure. I know it is building character in her as well as me. After extensively searching I think we have finally found a little home school network we can fit into and make new friends. This was really key for me. I could see Kaylie really desiring friendship, and I could use some encouragement along the way as well.

We have stuck with the My Father's World curriculum this year. I have enjoyed the layout, being a new homeschooling mom. It gives a well laid out plan, but allows freedom to be creative and move things around. I am still not sure if we will continue with it next year. Meeting other homeschooling parents has opened my eyes to some of the other great curriculum out there. Right now my goal is to finish this year strong. I have definitely realized Kaylie has a high aptitude for math. Yikes! This is not good for momma, but you gotta adapt! I was always more of a reading, literature kind of girl. There is one thing I continue to tell myself, this is not about me. The main reason I did not want her in public school, was because I did not want her learning style to be crammed into their square hole. I have to be careful not to do the same thing when I am teaching her. I wish I had more great insights to offer. I am honestly still feeling my way through the dark. The best thing I can offer is keep at it. It is an exercise in winning your child's heart. It is not about control, but more about building a bond of love so when the day comes for them to choose, they are well equipped to make the right decisions.

My greatest surprise in homeschooling has been Micah's ability to retain information. I am not formally educating him right now. He only overhears what I teach Kaylie. We were all stunned when Kaylie was going over the books in the Old Testament, and he rattled off about half without help. Those are not easy names to remember. I was impressed!

I am in no way a home school expert, but I encourage anyone who has questions or just needs guidance to seek out other moms. Support it so helpful. I am available to answer any questions as best I can, and if you live in the DFW area we can possibly even set up a time to chat.

Well that's my update for "mid-year." I will try and update a couple more times before the end of they year. We have an awesome opportunity to go to Belgium and France this spring for my little brother's wedding. I am hoping to take advantage of this great opportunity to teach some valuable lessons. That is the great thing about homeschooling. We are a traveling classroom!

A Life is Precious

Today is a pretty awesome day. The reason being is that 58 years ago today my dad was born in Everett, Washington. There are some obvious reason this is pretty awesome. One of them being I would not be here if he wasn't. The other reasons may not be easy to see here, but when we get to heaven I am pretty sure there will be thousands of reasons coming up to thank my dad. You see my dad loves Jesus. The only thing I know my dad loves more than Jesus and his family is discipling others to be who God has called them to be. In my lifetime I have watched my dad walk with countless individuals. And when I say walk I mean it, not just sticking around for a little prayer here and there. I'm talking about trudging through the muddy swamplands of people's souls, climbing high peaks, and moving through dark valleys. I remember being a child trying to fall asleep in bed and hearing the phone ring late into the night, and my dad would be there for whoever was on the other end. He has gone to the nations, not to preach to the thousands, although he has done that, but to meet with the pastor in the bush who thought everyone else had forgot about him. This is my dad, a mighty man of God, a true worshipper.

As you know this year has been one of the most difficult in his life. Almost 6 months ago he was unexpectedly diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia. While the prognisis looks good it has been a tough road through these treatments. As I write this he is still healing from the effects of the last round of chemo and is looking to start the next round in a week. It has been hard to watch someone I love deeply walk this road. He has been strong even when he is weak. He has stood on God's promises, and lived the verse in Job, Though He slay me, I will trust in Him. I know this has been a humbling experience, but I am grateful. I have seen others changed as he walks through this. I am grateful because we have only seen affirmation of the true life and hope we have in Christ. Most of all I am grateful that we have been given another year of life with my dad. A man's days are numbered before the Lord. No one knows what tomorrow may bring.

I love you dad. I celebrate your life and honor you today. Your life is precious to us and precious before the Lord. I hope for many more years of health, traveling, ministry, and family. You are the best dad, papa, and friend. I don't want to even imagine a life without you in it. May this be the best year yet. A year of triumph!

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Me Again

2011 was a rough year. I am thankful for the pockets of blessing and relief throughout, for without them I surely would have completely broken down. I have had a lot of things to say, but for the sake of healing I have chosen to stay quiet a little longer. The end of 2011 brought one last punch that I thought I would not recover from. While I contine on the path of healing and recovery I will post intermittently. I do not try to be vague to frustrate people. I believe openness and honesty are key, but not at the expense of moving past periods of extreme fragility and vulnerability.

I would like to share one insight I have gained. It is that we as humans suffer extreme short term memory loss. I have seen God come through in many ways, but I always seem to doubt He is capable of doing it again. This may come off as a little silly after what I just said, but He is capable. I may doubt it again tomorrow. There is one who is out to lie and destroy me. He will stop at nothing as he sows his seeds of doubt. This I know that deep inside there is confidence. It is the peace that will set me right on course again when I start in disbelief. God is capable, in fact He's more than capable.

That Warm Feeling

A week or so ago it really hit me. My dad could have been dead just a few short months ago. The mind processes things in such a weird way. It's not that the reality was not there for me, but it was if I was somehow insulated. My body went into auto-pilot. I often hear cancer described as a battle, and this is exactly what I feel we have experienced. Immediately after hearing the news we put our game faces on and prepared for war. There were moments I cried, but I think the reality of death really never set in. As we prepare for the upcoming holiday season it really sunk in how different this time could have been if even one thing had been done differently. I guess what I really want to say is how grateful I am that once again my dad will be sitting at the head of the table as we eat our Thanksgiving meal. I get teary eyed thinking about our family getting cozy by the fire to watch a favorite Christmas movie. My heart floods with joy to think that my dad and I can once again enjoy our traditional Christmas Eve midnight service. My children will gather around papa another year decorating the tree and marveling at the lights. A lot of people say it, and I think it sometimes loses meaning, but I don't need anything for Christmas, but the wonderful intangibles I have been so richly blessed with. Our traditions bring me more joy than any store bought gift could ever bring.
I know we will all die one day. This body is finite, but I believe that the experiences we are given on this earth are God ordained, and through the trials and tears He delights in our joy just as much as we delight in Him. I am grateful for one more year with the people I love. I am grateful that my daddy is with us today.

All for His Glory

I am the proud mommy of a 7 month old. Wait! What??!!! This could not be possible. I just gave birth to him around yesterday, right? I would also like to note I am also the proud mommy of a 6 year old and 3 year old. I am still trying to figure out when they grew up. I seriously just bought pants, how could they have shrunk 3 inches. They just don't make pants like they used to. Am I right?
Seriously, this year is flying by. It is has been fraught with trials and tribulations, but also permeated with sweet, sweet love. My little Isaac is such a joy. He is so different from his siblings, and yet he fits right in with them. He has been fairly mobile since about 4 1/2 months. He really hit a good crawl around 5 months so I have been very busy since then. I was not prepared for such early mobility. He started pulling up around 6 months so we'll see if walking is in the not too distant future. He has really developed a sense of humor. He knows when he is getting into something he shouldn't. Chris or I will just look at him and he will burst into giggles. I could not imagine life without this little guy. Our family life is that much richer with him around.
My precious Kaylie is thriving in her homeschooling and dance this year. I think I am learning more. It is definitely a lesson in patience, but I love learning with her. She is so intelligent. Home school is not without its challenges, but it has been a delight to watch her learn and discover. She asks questions all the time, and offers many great insights. I love her so dearly.
She is also becoming quite the little ballerina and tapper. She has her first performance this weekend at a holiday market. She is very excited and very nervous. I cannot wait to see her perform. My baby is growing up!
My sweet Micah has become quite the wordsmith. We always thought he would be the quiet one, but this past year has seen an explosion in his language skills. A not so welcome side effect is an increase in his argumentative skills. Ah 3 year olds. He really is a sweetheart. He is extremely loveable and also quite the comedienne He's even made his first best friend in life, which means we spend a lot of time outside playing with his buddy.

I continue growing and adjusting in my role as part time stay at home mom. I'd like to say I've got it all together and I never have meltdowns. Hmmm I think I'm learning that it's just one day at a time. I'm also learning I need Jesus for EVERYTHING. I thought I knew that, but I learn it a little more everyday.

After a brief stint with a second job at Starbucks, Chris and I both felt we needed him to be home more. It was a huge leap of faith, and I was concerned about making ends meet, but I was so tired I had no will to fight it anymore. His last day was last week, and he and I set off for a much needed getaway. While finances had been tight, I had set aside some planned commissions from work so we could take our first trip without kids since we had Kaylie. It was only two days, but it was just what we needed to recharge our batteries and reconnect. Right before we left Chris received a call to set up an interview with a potential employer. We've been praying a lot about this lately, but I have had so many disappointments I didn't want to get my hopes up. Yesterday Chris interviewed and was offered the job. Not only is the pay better, but it is so close to home that we will save a significant amount just from the extra gas and tolls we will not be paying. I kept remembering the verse in Psalms 8 that say What is man that You are mindful of him? I am truly humbled. I have had several one sided shouting matches with God in my frustrations. Of course when I step back into my right mind I am reminded of His sovereignty. Who I am next to Him is really nothing, yet He chooses to bless me. He chooses to care. It may not happen when or how I want it. In the end it's not about me. All things for His glory. I am grateful.

Writer's Block

When I was younger I used to write a lot. It was mostly private journals and poetry fueled by a lot of teen angst. Granted some of it may seem silly now, but it was an outlet. I cherished my writing more than anything in the world. I still have every journal and tablet I set my pen to. I'm not sure any of my thoughts were Pulitzer prize winners. In fact most of it was pretty raw, but it was me. Life has happened. I don't blame or regret any of the twists or turn that have come. I love my husband and my children more than anything, but sometimes I feel like that part of me is dead. Okay maybe dead is a strong term. From time to time I still feel the embers burning in the deepest parts of me, but life require me to be completely present and I often find my old passion seems a waste or an excess my mind has no time to fuel any longer. I have tried to force myself to just write, feverishly putting pen to paper in hopes maybe one spark of inspiration, one small transference of my innermost dreams will make its way out. Instead I find a jumbled mess of words that are more akin to this lament than anything even remotely inspired.

I have enjoyed blogging, but yet I still feel something lacking. In the advance of the digital age it is all too common for any person anywhere to throw out one's thought and words, sometimes with very little thought. Not that I am looking for one, but I feel blogging has become very "niche" oriented. Unfortunately I do not find myself to excel at any one thing that I feel I am even qualified to sound authoritative on. I am a mom, yes. I can cook, yes. I am not necessarily a health guru. I'm not up on all the latest thrifting mom fashions. I can't tell you how to coupon to the extreme and spend $5 on your groceries. I've decided that while photography is awesome, my funds are limited to buy all the fancy equipment so I can simply post my awesome pictures. (By the way a lot of you do have awesome pictures.)
This just leaves me as a plain old blogger. Plain text is SO 20th century.

I miss those old writing days. I miss the way I felt after spilling my heart onto a piece of paper!
What is wrong with me? I have not found how to effectively carry out the practical side of life without stifling the words that are trying to bubble up from within me.
Is this what they call writer's block?