A Life is Precious

Today is a pretty awesome day. The reason being is that 58 years ago today my dad was born in Everett, Washington. There are some obvious reason this is pretty awesome. One of them being I would not be here if he wasn't. The other reasons may not be easy to see here, but when we get to heaven I am pretty sure there will be thousands of reasons coming up to thank my dad. You see my dad loves Jesus. The only thing I know my dad loves more than Jesus and his family is discipling others to be who God has called them to be. In my lifetime I have watched my dad walk with countless individuals. And when I say walk I mean it, not just sticking around for a little prayer here and there. I'm talking about trudging through the muddy swamplands of people's souls, climbing high peaks, and moving through dark valleys. I remember being a child trying to fall asleep in bed and hearing the phone ring late into the night, and my dad would be there for whoever was on the other end. He has gone to the nations, not to preach to the thousands, although he has done that, but to meet with the pastor in the bush who thought everyone else had forgot about him. This is my dad, a mighty man of God, a true worshipper.

As you know this year has been one of the most difficult in his life. Almost 6 months ago he was unexpectedly diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia. While the prognisis looks good it has been a tough road through these treatments. As I write this he is still healing from the effects of the last round of chemo and is looking to start the next round in a week. It has been hard to watch someone I love deeply walk this road. He has been strong even when he is weak. He has stood on God's promises, and lived the verse in Job, Though He slay me, I will trust in Him. I know this has been a humbling experience, but I am grateful. I have seen others changed as he walks through this. I am grateful because we have only seen affirmation of the true life and hope we have in Christ. Most of all I am grateful that we have been given another year of life with my dad. A man's days are numbered before the Lord. No one knows what tomorrow may bring.

I love you dad. I celebrate your life and honor you today. Your life is precious to us and precious before the Lord. I hope for many more years of health, traveling, ministry, and family. You are the best dad, papa, and friend. I don't want to even imagine a life without you in it. May this be the best year yet. A year of triumph!

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

That Warm Feeling

A week or so ago it really hit me. My dad could have been dead just a few short months ago. The mind processes things in such a weird way. It's not that the reality was not there for me, but it was if I was somehow insulated. My body went into auto-pilot. I often hear cancer described as a battle, and this is exactly what I feel we have experienced. Immediately after hearing the news we put our game faces on and prepared for war. There were moments I cried, but I think the reality of death really never set in. As we prepare for the upcoming holiday season it really sunk in how different this time could have been if even one thing had been done differently. I guess what I really want to say is how grateful I am that once again my dad will be sitting at the head of the table as we eat our Thanksgiving meal. I get teary eyed thinking about our family getting cozy by the fire to watch a favorite Christmas movie. My heart floods with joy to think that my dad and I can once again enjoy our traditional Christmas Eve midnight service. My children will gather around papa another year decorating the tree and marveling at the lights. A lot of people say it, and I think it sometimes loses meaning, but I don't need anything for Christmas, but the wonderful intangibles I have been so richly blessed with. Our traditions bring me more joy than any store bought gift could ever bring.
I know we will all die one day. This body is finite, but I believe that the experiences we are given on this earth are God ordained, and through the trials and tears He delights in our joy just as much as we delight in Him. I am grateful for one more year with the people I love. I am grateful that my daddy is with us today.

When God's Ways are Not Our Ways

I am still scratching my head. How did we go from sitting at a chik-fil-a with the kids on a Saturday to a leukemia diagnosis on Monday? The human mind was not made to process these whirlwinds of change. For those who are completely lost a brief summary:
Saturday my mom called to tell us she was taking my dad to the ER. He had been drained all week and started having chest pains and feeling winded. Heart disease runs in his family so he worried he was either having a heart attack or at least some serious blockage. While this was not welcome news to me, I felt prepared for this. My grandfather is in his 80's and survived two heart attacks while still putting right along. I knew this wouldn't be easy, but I knew he was doing the right thing by going in early. I figured they would get this fixed and he'd be back on his merry way in no time.

We all rushed up to the ER and crammed into the tiny room. They had drawn blood and noticed it was low. They were talking transfusion to get him back up to par. Still nothing seemed weird at this point. A Dr. showed up and said he was their to look at the blood results and he would be back with us. After a really short period he was back. He started explaining the results of the blood test. My dad's red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets were all dangerously low. He was told he basically had no immune system. I'm just trying to process what this has to do with having a heart attack when I hear the word Leukemia thrown out. Wait what is he talking about? Did he not realize we were here for chest pains? He obviously had the wrong room. It is amazing how many thoughts flash through your head in a single moment when life delivers you a swift slap to the face. I didn't want to appear weak, but my eyes flooded with tears. This was my daddy, the guy who's always strong, nothing unexpected happens to him. Immediately the Lord spoke to my spirit, Crystal, you know I am good right? Of course I do, but God can't I just have a moment? This kept impressing on my spirit. I felt that we should begin to pray. I knew it was God's desire for us to to acknowledge His goodness no matter what the circumstance no matter what the outcome. So we set the stage for what was to come. I am sorry Satan, but you have already lost this first battle, God is good and you will not convince us otherwise.

They had to take a bone marrow biopsy Sunday to confirm what they suspected. Late Monday the doctor delivered the preliminary results which confirmed acute leukemia. He wanted to begin treatment right away. The prognosis is good because he caught this very early, but the window is short. We were told if he had waited even a month, he could have been dead. If you asked anyone they would never see a blessing in a family history of heart disease. For once I do. If my dad had no history of heart disease he probably wouldn't have taken those chest pains as seriously. He probably would have attributed his tiredness to a cold or virus coming on. While the chest pains ended up being related to the anemia from his blood, God used those warning flags to preserve his life.

I am still processing all of this. I anticipate many blogs to come as we fight this fight together. My dad has at least two weeks in the hospital while they begin the first rounds of treatment. The biggest goal is to build his immunity back up. It is a miracle that he has not caught anything the week prior as he went about his normal life working and being around people.

It may sounds strange, but this has been one of the hardest , but sweetest weeks of my life. As we lean heavily on the Lord and each other it has built such a sweet sense of unity. I have enjoyed just sitting and talking with my dad. Suddenly a lot of life's silly distractions just don't seem that important.
I love my dad so very much. I believe my heart hurt more because I did not want to see him walk through any pain. All night Saturday I thought about being a little girl again. The times that were simple and unmarred by the hormones and drama that the teenage years bring. I thought about the many times my dad needed to tell me something important, something I might not really understand. He would sit me on his lap. Sometimes he cried, but he was always a source of strength. I miss those days sometimes. I learned so much about the great character of my dad just being with him. Now we are at a point where we need an even greater Father, our sweet Father God to hold us both on His lap. His ways are not our ways, but He is faithful to hold us when we just can't quite understand and be a source of strength.

We have appreciated so many people who have visited and sent comments and prayers. We continue to enjoy visitors but ask that anyone who is sick refrain from coming at this time. Even a common cold could be dangerous with his current immunity levels. We have also been asked by the doctors not to allow any flowers, plants, or fresh fruits and vegetables in the room due to the bacteria they can harbor. Cards and prayers are always welcome.

We are standing in faith that God will bring complete healing to my dad's body. I am believing that he will come out not only healed but completely rejuvinated in mind, body, and spirit.
If you take anything with you today please let it be that God is a good God. He remains the same no matter what the circumstance or what the outcome. He does not change. Blessed be His name!

Across the Ocean Seems So Far Away

My dad has been in Africa for over a month now. I knew he would be far away, but when you are a busy working mom you find that it's easy to pass the time by just living life. When I go over to their house it's often just like dad's at work or in the office. I haven't spoken to him much because of the time difference, power outages in Burkina Faso, and all the things that can make transcontinental communication difficult. I just happened to pick up the kids this afternoon, and mom was on the phone with him. We were able to talk briefly before his phone disconnected.

When I was little there were a few times my dad traveled without us, or we traveled to visit family without him if he was working. I remember hating the moment we had said our goodbyes and he turned to walk away. I dreaded those few moments knowing how much I would miss him and how far away it seemed he would be. I just wanted to get a good cry out so all those bottled up kid emotions could get out. Talking to my dad today made me feel that way again. Of course I am all grown up and I know I will see him again, but it's just the reality of how far away he really is.

I suppose no matter how grown up we get there is always that child in us that longs for the closeness of home, and not the structure. Instead the home we found or always wanted to find in the safety and security of our parents love and presence in our lives.

When you read this dad I love you and miss you. I know you will come home, but tonight across the ocean seems so far away.