Woohoo! I really am on a roll. Ok, ok I admit, I am only writing this blog so that my brain will not stop functioning due to excess boredom. When you work in an industry that relies heavily on good weather to function things get a little slow when rain overtakes the metroplex for more than one day.
So hmmm what can I babble on about. I did take Kaylie to the doctor today. She has been sick since Monday and has been feverish on and off for three days. She won't eat anything so I started to get worried. After two stays in the hospital in the past I am never willing to take any chances. There was nothing alarming, but the doctor did say she seemed to be in the beginning stages of bronchitis. They went ahead and put her on an antibiotic to prevent a bacterial infection due to her history. I am a careful mom, but I also believe in letting the body try to heal itself before overloading on unecessary meds. After a week of rest and liquids I couldn't watch her suffer anymore. Kaylie is very trusting of her doctor which is a good thing. She never acts scared to go in and is very happy when she leaves with a lollypop and sticker.
I just want to give credit to the Cook's Childrens Physician network. They are awesome and always prompt. We were called into the exam room within 5 minutes of setting down. I didn't even have time to finish filling out my paperwork. The doctor was in within 5 minutes of the nurse settling Kaylie in. We were out of the office in twenty minutes. Even though they are fast they definitely don't rush you. All of our questions or concerns are always addressed, and they work so well with the kids. Sometimes I think Pediatritions get busy and forgert they are still dealing with kids. All of the doctors in this office have a way of making the exam go smoothly while allowing kids to just be kids. Our children's primary doctor is Dr. Sharon Jackson. She has been with us since Kaylie was 2 months old. She is incredible. She was the one who realized Micah had a hernia and we had it promptly taken care of in about 2 weeks. I have been impressed with just about every physician in this network. Kudos Cook's! You have lifelong patients in our family, at least until they are adults =)
Friday, March 13, 2009
Rainy Days
Most people hate a day like today. I have to say I would like it much better if I was in Seattle. I love how we all instinctively want to curl up in bed, rent movies, and eat soup or chili. We humans are such creatures of habit. It is no wonder marketing geniuses make millions of dollars every year playing off our predictable insticts and emotions.
If I were in Seattle on a day like today I would bundle up in rain appropriate gear and mosey on down to the Pike Place Market. I can just imagine the smell of fresh fish, fruits and vegetables, and the salty smell of water drifting in from the sound. I would grab a hot plate of fish and chips and then head into a local coffee shop with a good book and enjoy a rich breve latte.
Back to reality in Texas on a Friday at work. Hey a girl can dream.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Turbulence Ahead
I have flown my whole life. I can't even recall my first flight, but you log a lot of air miles as a child when your dad works for an airline. I took the whole experience in stride. I even recall calming a few adult passengers when turbulence occurred and their agitation was high. Ironically my fear of flying has grown as I have grown. I'm not sure if this has something to do with worldly awareness, recent terrorism, or just the simple recgnition of my own mortality. Needless to say I am always hoping for a smooth flight in the days preceding any travel. When the pilot comes over and says their may be a little turbulence ahead I start to brace myself for the worst, but more often than not time passes and I look back a realize it was nothing more than a few bumps in the road so to speak.
I give this long analogy to preface my story for the day. I woke up to a typical Thursday, relieved it is one day closer to the weekend, but sad I still have two full days left two work. I hopped in the shower and decided I needed to pray. The shower is one of my favorite places to pray. In there it is just me and God... no interruptions. With things going along so well at home lately I dared not wonder when the next bout of usual domestic turbulence might arrive. With my day started out on the right foot, I was ready to go. I get out to find Kaylie downstairs laying on the couch still not feeling well. She has been sick for a few days. Chris and I start a discussin on what to do, and we both have our opinions. I take something said the wrong way, and then realize it is getting later and I could be late for work. This is where in my head we hear the captain come overhead,"Fasten your seatbelts, we may be experiencing some turbulence." There is apart of me that has a tendency to get defensive in tense situations. For once I decided to just shut my mouth. We made it to work and I decided to just let it go. Life is to short and I love my husband.
The point of my story is building upon yesterday's blog. I find that when I have let go of the control and allowed God to take preeminence the dreaded turbulent times become nothing more than just a few bumps in the road. The forseen nose dive suddenly becomes just a light chop. We are all human and until that glorious day of redemption we face a real world with challenges big and small. Will I slip up sometimes? Oh most definitely. Fortunately the grace and love of God are in hot pursuit of all who will let Him in. I'm hanging on to Him. It should be a beautiful ride!
I give this long analogy to preface my story for the day. I woke up to a typical Thursday, relieved it is one day closer to the weekend, but sad I still have two full days left two work. I hopped in the shower and decided I needed to pray. The shower is one of my favorite places to pray. In there it is just me and God... no interruptions. With things going along so well at home lately I dared not wonder when the next bout of usual domestic turbulence might arrive. With my day started out on the right foot, I was ready to go. I get out to find Kaylie downstairs laying on the couch still not feeling well. She has been sick for a few days. Chris and I start a discussin on what to do, and we both have our opinions. I take something said the wrong way, and then realize it is getting later and I could be late for work. This is where in my head we hear the captain come overhead,"Fasten your seatbelts, we may be experiencing some turbulence." There is apart of me that has a tendency to get defensive in tense situations. For once I decided to just shut my mouth. We made it to work and I decided to just let it go. Life is to short and I love my husband.
The point of my story is building upon yesterday's blog. I find that when I have let go of the control and allowed God to take preeminence the dreaded turbulent times become nothing more than just a few bumps in the road. The forseen nose dive suddenly becomes just a light chop. We are all human and until that glorious day of redemption we face a real world with challenges big and small. Will I slip up sometimes? Oh most definitely. Fortunately the grace and love of God are in hot pursuit of all who will let Him in. I'm hanging on to Him. It should be a beautiful ride!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Growing
This is the best word I can use to describe where our family is at right now.
Micah started doing something I never thought we would see. He slept through the night. It started at the end of last week, and he has kept it up. Of course he and Kaylie continue to grow physically. Soon Micah will be toddling around the house, and I know I will miss him wanting me to hold him all the time. Kaylie has decided she is a big girl. If I even call her my baby she firmly states,"no mommy, I'm a big girl!" or my favorite, "mommy, I'm not a baby, I'm a people." Where do kids come up with this stuff? I see Kaylie growing internally as well. She is more thoughtful about abstract concepts. We have talked a lot about spiritual things such as dying and where heaven is. It is exciting and a little sad as I realize there is nothing I can do to freeze time. All I can do is enjoy the moments and make the most of time.
Last week was definitely a watershed moments in my life as well as my relationship with Chris. For some unexplained reason a lot things came to a head that I had not properly dealt with. So many feelings of guilt, fear, and sadness finally were released, and we were able to have such a wonderful time of talking and sharing. God has totally shifted me in the past few weeks. There is so much peace in our home now. Not that things were always bad. In fact things were usually fine, but I know that because of underlying factors we were not experiencing full peace and joy.
As we have been going through the financial peace course it amazes that as we choose to discipline one area of our life that so many other things start coming into line.
If there is one thing I would like to impart from this whole blog is the power of release, and really letting go of the things that so easily hinder. The easiest choices are the hardest to make. Each day I am choosing to walk in forgiveness, choosing to love my family with abandonment, and choosing to let all of these choices be fueled by God's love and the work that Jesus did on the cross. Without His love all these decisions would be in vain.
Micah started doing something I never thought we would see. He slept through the night. It started at the end of last week, and he has kept it up. Of course he and Kaylie continue to grow physically. Soon Micah will be toddling around the house, and I know I will miss him wanting me to hold him all the time. Kaylie has decided she is a big girl. If I even call her my baby she firmly states,"no mommy, I'm a big girl!" or my favorite, "mommy, I'm not a baby, I'm a people." Where do kids come up with this stuff? I see Kaylie growing internally as well. She is more thoughtful about abstract concepts. We have talked a lot about spiritual things such as dying and where heaven is. It is exciting and a little sad as I realize there is nothing I can do to freeze time. All I can do is enjoy the moments and make the most of time.
Last week was definitely a watershed moments in my life as well as my relationship with Chris. For some unexplained reason a lot things came to a head that I had not properly dealt with. So many feelings of guilt, fear, and sadness finally were released, and we were able to have such a wonderful time of talking and sharing. God has totally shifted me in the past few weeks. There is so much peace in our home now. Not that things were always bad. In fact things were usually fine, but I know that because of underlying factors we were not experiencing full peace and joy.
As we have been going through the financial peace course it amazes that as we choose to discipline one area of our life that so many other things start coming into line.
If there is one thing I would like to impart from this whole blog is the power of release, and really letting go of the things that so easily hinder. The easiest choices are the hardest to make. Each day I am choosing to walk in forgiveness, choosing to love my family with abandonment, and choosing to let all of these choices be fueled by God's love and the work that Jesus did on the cross. Without His love all these decisions would be in vain.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Oh the Joys of Wednesday
I cannot even begin to express how happy I am that it is Wednesday and my work day is winding down. I have not had the rest I need this week, and my sleep deficit is really adding up. The weather is starting to show signs of spring and I am ready to get out with the kids and have some fun outdoorsy outings. Of course when the weekend arrives it is bound to be cold or raining.
This weekend we will be going to Chris' annual work Christmas party in March. This year it is at the Fort Worth Zoo so that should be cool. We haven't been on a date in awhile so I am looking forward to it. The kids are going to spend the night with grandma so we can actually go out afterwards and not worry about getting home and getting everyone to bed.
There is really nothing else going on. I just wanted to say I am glad to be on the downward slope of the week.
This weekend we will be going to Chris' annual work Christmas party in March. This year it is at the Fort Worth Zoo so that should be cool. We haven't been on a date in awhile so I am looking forward to it. The kids are going to spend the night with grandma so we can actually go out afterwards and not worry about getting home and getting everyone to bed.
There is really nothing else going on. I just wanted to say I am glad to be on the downward slope of the week.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Packing Up Stuff and Keeping the Memories
Before I launch into today's blog, I want to conclude a little bit from my last blog. I do not have much to say at this time, but God is doing a work in my heart and life. Each day is a new day with its own battles, but I have the promise of abiding peace in Jesus. I will share more about the journey a little farther down the road.
Although we are still a few months out from selling our house and moving, we have already begun the tedious task of consolidating, cleaning out, and throwing away all that we have collected over the years. I have a love-hate relationship with change as I believe many people do. There are times when I grow weary of the stale routine, but when change is on the horizon I find myself clinging to the comfort and security of what I know best. As I begin to take inventory of what will come with us and what will have to go I fondly recall the wonderful memories we have experienced in this home, our first home. I knew from the beginning this was not the place we would settle down, raise a family, and grow old in. It is still not easy to let go and realize someone else will one day move in and make their home here. Someone else will sleep in my room, someone else will move their things into the rooms my children have called their own. Another family with gather around a dinner table in the place we used to share meals. I know I am a little sentimental. We are transitioning into a new phase. In the end it will be better. Sooner than later we will find that place where we can put our roots down, as Chris would say.
I may pack up a lot of stuff, but I will keep the old memories along for the ride.
Although we are still a few months out from selling our house and moving, we have already begun the tedious task of consolidating, cleaning out, and throwing away all that we have collected over the years. I have a love-hate relationship with change as I believe many people do. There are times when I grow weary of the stale routine, but when change is on the horizon I find myself clinging to the comfort and security of what I know best. As I begin to take inventory of what will come with us and what will have to go I fondly recall the wonderful memories we have experienced in this home, our first home. I knew from the beginning this was not the place we would settle down, raise a family, and grow old in. It is still not easy to let go and realize someone else will one day move in and make their home here. Someone else will sleep in my room, someone else will move their things into the rooms my children have called their own. Another family with gather around a dinner table in the place we used to share meals. I know I am a little sentimental. We are transitioning into a new phase. In the end it will be better. Sooner than later we will find that place where we can put our roots down, as Chris would say.
I may pack up a lot of stuff, but I will keep the old memories along for the ride.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Some Things
The past... I tried to bury you under layers of time, but you rear your head at the most inopportune times.
No matter how many times I look in the mirror and see a 25 year old mom and wife, I can't help but see just a girl who is trying to put makeup over her scars. Most of the time I feel just fine, but there are moments in time, small fragments that shoot me back to those dark days. I felt so grown up then. I thought I was making choices of my own, even if they were bad, but I never really paid attention to the manipulation of my fragile state by so many men. Some who made a career out of being pastors, and others who were just lost and looking for an easy place to escape. I was a great target, fitting to be the "other" girl Somehow,someway so many made it to my doorstep, and foolish as I was I let them in. I just wanted to be loved, and to feel like I meant something to someone. In the end my self worth was left battered and abused. Now I know all is forgiven and their is hope and a future, but how do I forget? When does the guilt and self loathing go away? Why must life seem right one moment, and a dark vacuum the next?
My mind knows so much truth, but at times I feel my heart is lagging.
No matter how many times I look in the mirror and see a 25 year old mom and wife, I can't help but see just a girl who is trying to put makeup over her scars. Most of the time I feel just fine, but there are moments in time, small fragments that shoot me back to those dark days. I felt so grown up then. I thought I was making choices of my own, even if they were bad, but I never really paid attention to the manipulation of my fragile state by so many men. Some who made a career out of being pastors, and others who were just lost and looking for an easy place to escape. I was a great target, fitting to be the "other" girl Somehow,someway so many made it to my doorstep, and foolish as I was I let them in. I just wanted to be loved, and to feel like I meant something to someone. In the end my self worth was left battered and abused. Now I know all is forgiven and their is hope and a future, but how do I forget? When does the guilt and self loathing go away? Why must life seem right one moment, and a dark vacuum the next?
My mind knows so much truth, but at times I feel my heart is lagging.
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