Little Experiement

Since we've established from previous posts that I'm a cynic I've decided to embark on a little experiment for the next few days. Anytime words that are less than positive come to my mind, I am going to try with everything within me to change them to something more positive before they tumble out in word form. I must be honest. I am sure I will not be perfect, but I am trying to really see things as God sees them. I know this does not involve glossing over truth but I also want to try and set my mind on things above as the Bible states.

With God so far above our feeble mind and residing outside of time it is a wonderment to me what it is that keeps Him so in love with this human race. I may never completely fathom this great love, but I want to try my hardest to see as He sees so I can love as He loves. I admit my great weakness in this area. May He make me strong.

I will try to journal some of my experiences privately and share what seems relevant here. For now I leave you with this

Proverbs 18:21

Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit.

Stars & Stripes

I may have mentioned once or twice that I love long holidays weekends. It was very cool to have the 4th of July fall on Saturday this year. There is nothing more frustrating than getting a Wednesday off and then having to go back to work for two more days.

We have never been a family to make big plans for Independence day. I think this is in part to our aversion of crowds. We almost always end up just watching fireworks from the side of the road. I spend my whole week in the confines of a routine so I prefer to have these kind of holidays to relax. This year we decided we would try an attend Southlakes fireworks event on Friday. We arrived around 5, but withing an hour we were hot, irritable, and ready to get out of the ever growing crowds. I knew we could not make it another three hours just for fireworks. Kaylie, Melody, and I decided we would hit the waterpark for a couple of hours while the boys chilled at home. We may see if we can catch a low key fireworks show in the area tonight, but we definitely will not be venturing out to any big events.

Speaking of the rest of our weekend, my sweet Kaylie is heading out this morning to a family reunion. My mom's famil y has been having a family reunion in Oklahoma for over 50 years. With zero vacation time Kaylie will be making an appearance for the Medrano's this year. She is just excited that she gets to spend a week swimming, riding go carts, playing on the beach, and hanging with her cousins. Of course I get a little teary eyed to let her go. I know she's in good hands, but I always worry a little. I think I watch too much Law & Order.

Chris and I will be left with just one child for five days. It will be really quiet without my inquisitive sidekick. I asked her who was going to entertain and help out with Micah while she was away. She said that daddy would do fine helping me :)

Happy Fourth to everyone, and especially my dad who cannot be here. Dad loves this country a lot and spent many years serving in our nations military. We all wish he could be here to grill some hot dogs and hang out. We'll see you soon Dad!

It's the Little Things

Back to work Monday. I didn't feel too much dread. It is my week to be off at four, and it is a four day week. Four just may be my lucky number. I'm not sure why getting off at four makes the day seem shorter. I am at work for the same amount of time. I suppose the old early bird from Starbucks days still resides within.

There is one things I really dread during the week and that is lunches. As a part of our total money makeover we have tried to reduce the amount of money spent on going out during the work week. I'm not one for frozen meals. This has relegated me to the plain old sandwich. Unless we have leftovers I try to stay positive once the lunch hour arrives. Usually it is just nothing to get excited about. Today I decided to add lettuce to my sandwich. I don't know why I haven't before, but when the clock hit eleven I remembered I had a turkey sandwich on wheat with some crisp lettuce waiting for me. Something about the crisp lettuce just added a little boost to the ordinary. I know it sounds silly, but it made all the difference. I also decided to buy some brie. I know it's one of those things you either love or hate, but I have a special place in my heart for some good wine and French cheese. Of course I can't bring wine to work so I decided to bring a small piece of brie everyday. It is like a small mental getaway to a picnic overlooking a vineyard somewhere in the wine country.

By this point you may be laughing at my peculiar blog or scratching your head as to why I would put any thought into a blog about my mundane brown bag lunch. I am finding life so much more pleasurable when I find little burst of joy in the common activities of the day because every prevalent memory is just a picture made up of all the little things.

Less Blogging Makes Me Unhappy

I have not had the opportunity to blog as often as I was. I'm still here. I have had so many topics bouncing around in my head, but when I get home and sit in front of the computer I can't get all of my frazzled thoughts together into something that sounds vaguely coherent. Since I don't know what will transpire over the weekend here are my thoughts on a few things.

#1 Iran-What a horrid tragedy is occurring in this country. Still our country has no balls (sorry people that's just what I'm feeling) to stand up and take a hard line stance against Ahmadinejad and the Ayatollah. I know we can't save everyone, but the U.S. population cares more about a John & Kate split over innocent people being murdered. The people have spoken, now let's stand up with them for some freedom!

#2 John & Kate plus eight?-I've never watched the show. Exploiting children to pay for your own poor choices...priceless entertainment here in the states. My take, absolutely devastating. Get those kids off the air.

#3 Texas Heat-It sucks.

#4 Being positive-I need to be. This heat sure is great compared to the frozen tundra of the arctic.

#5 Dad-Still miss him. He's making us proud on the African front.

#6 Family-I love them. Thanks for loving me Chris, even when I'm a grumpy lady.

#7 Governors who sneak off to Argentina without telling anyone-Not cool buddy. Time to resign.

#8 Two celebrities dying in one day- It is sad when anyone dies under such tragic circumstances. Enough said.

#9 Weekends-A time for rest and contemplation. I can't wait!

Most lists are comprised of ten. It's just logical. Well I don't feel like being logical. That will be my blog for the night. I hope everyone has a great Friday. Stay tuned for more news on the blogging front.

Weary

I'm just going to come out and say it. I am a giant ball of stress. There that feels a little better.
I've always dreamed about being one of those cool,calm, zen people, but I'm not. During the week I find that many little things can set it off. After a long day at work I come home and just want the world to be perfect. Yet I look around and see clothes that need washed, dinner to be cooked, kids who need attention, walls to be painted, books to be read, places to go,budgets to calculate, and then my mind wanders to why didn't I finish college again. I want to be everywhere and do everything, but in my heart of hearts I just want to be content. My mind is so busy, I grow weary of myself.

Forgive this blog please. I truly love my life, but it is just one of those moments. I'm just reconciling these thoughts on this blank slate in hopes I can make sense of it all.

It has been a long week. I have been tired and not felt much like myself which makes me irritable and not the greatest mom or wife. I am committed to providing for my family, but how long can one work in a job for which they have no passion? I know the answer and it is as long as it takes, but I am still just a mere mortal. I want to reach the dreams I have longed for. I want to do something I am passionate about. I want to change the world!

My balloon of dreams is descending back to reality. Oh it is in these moments that I must trust you God once again. Please strengthen me because I can never do it in myself.

Freedom!!!!!!

I could have been bogged down by a typical Tuesday, but Chris e-mailed me this morning to wish me a Happy 'Out of prepayment penalty' day! How could I forget? Three years ago we signed the papers to close on our home. Three years ago we made one of the most misinformed financial decisions. Today we celebrate making it three years against the odds, and we are free from a hefty prepayment penalty! I find it is easy to get lost in the forest and forget to celebrate the small victories. I just wanted to take this moment to revel in this victory.

We should close on our refinance by the end of this month. It is not all we had hoped it would be. We will only refinance the 80% portion of our loan, but that will bring the interest rate down to 5.5%. If home values don't increase in the near future we will probably stay in our home a few more years. No matter what we will still save money, and we will not be subject to the formidable ARM. With inflation on the horizon I am truly grateful we will not be in danger of an increasing rate.

Time to get back to work.

I love Monday

I know it sounds crazy. In fact this morning I don't want to love Monday, but I'm trying to be positive so stick with me. Love is not always a feeling right? I'm just going to dig my heels in and love Monday even if it kills me!

There is just something awful about preparing a meal that tastes so good, and then waking up the next morning and feeling like you need to puke. That's how I felt today. I don't know if it was bad food, or dehydration from the sun, but I felt horrible. Have you ever seen the cartoons where the character gets out of bed only to literally drag themselves across the floor picking themselves up and falling as only a cartoon character can do? That was me this morning, just not as cool looking as a cartoon character.

It was a fairly good weekend. We saw UP. I loved it, but I love most Pixar films. Kaylie said it was the best movie ever. Of course she is three and anything in recent memory is usually the best. I believe there is also something wonderful about an air conditioned movie theater in the middle of hundred degree weather.

We spent Sunday at the water park. This has become a weekly ritual. Kaylie is slowly getting braver. She still has a tendency to panic in the wave pool, but she now goes down all the slides in the kids area. These are not the slides from the kiddy area I remember as a child. These are a lot bigger and a lot of fun. Sometimes we have to convince her it would be a good idea to go back to the kids area and ride some slides. Hey even adults can be kids at heart :) Micah isn't quite ready for all that excitement. His favorite passtime is crawling around the most shallow area of the kids pool, and chilling with momma on the lazy river.

Well it's time to get back to today. All this weekend fun has been brought to you brought to you by the paychecks from Thomson and Pavestone.