Birth, What Have You Done to Me?

I've kind of become obsessed with everything birth related lately. Is this common for others who experience the joy of midwife care and conclude with a natural birth experience? In this crazy sort of way I want to go back and revisit my own birth experience. It seems like crazy talk, believe me I know. I guess that oxytocin really does a number on the brain. It's just that it all happened so quickly. My life was forever changed, and now I live vicariously reading other people's birth stories. I read up on everything birth related. All of the latest articles on hospital birth statistic, home birth statistics, you name it, if its birth related I want to know.
In reality I know I am nowhere near ready to attempt another pregnancy. The Lord knows I could use a few full nights of rest. I really felt Isaac would be the completion of our little family, yet sometimes I feel a twinge of sadness that this is it. It took me 5 years to build up the courage to do things differently, and its hard to accept not experiencing it all again.

I am really not here to blog about whether or not to have another baby. I believe that will work itself out in due time. I guess what I'm really wondering is if this new found love of all things birth will subside? Is it a new passion, a calling? Perhaps it's just something that comes with the empowerment of delivering in my time, my way. I just know I have such a burning desire to see all women realize the power God has placed within them. I want women to see that birthing children is not simply a burden that must be masked or rushed through just to get the end result. It is an awesome journey, that is bigger than you, and yet you were given every capability to see it through. I want women to learn to trust their instincts, and stop letting doctors make decisions that are of more benefit to themselves that the patient.

I'm not looking for a career right now. I definitely have a full plate at the moment. I would love to hear from other mamas who have taken this journey. Did you find yourself enthralled with birth after your own delivery? Did you sometimes feel sad that it was over? I might be the only crazy one there. I don't know what the future holds. I may never hold a professional career as a midwife, doula, or birth educator, but I do know that the story is forever on my heart. I guess we will just have to wait and see!

Coming Soon.....

The Birth Story of Isaac Timothy Medrano

Our baby boy Isaac joined us Saturday at approximately 1:30 in the morning. He weighed 7lbs. 14oz. and was 20 inches long. I told my midwife I did not even know it was possible for me to birth babies less than 8lbs! It has been quite the whirlwind. I am presently gathering my thoughts to write his story out. Please check back soon as it will probably be posted in pieces.
Isaac and family are doing very well. He has been such a joy and a blessing to our family. We appreciate every kind word of encouragement, prayer, and the help we have received. I look forward to sharing our continuing journey with you.

Scared but Excited

In just a few short months I will take a GIANT leap of faith. Come to think of it, it will be several giant leaps. I will muster all the the strength and courage I have to labor and birth this baby into the world naturally. I will summon every ounce of patience to take on the challenge of three children, two that will be boys...yikes! Perhaps the biggest leap will be my transition from the workplace to stay at home mom. It will be gradual. I plan to work part time for awhile after maternity leave just to keep things stable until we see where Chris and the new job are heading.
It really just hit me that after 6 years of working, praying, and hoping a day would come that I would be home with my kids, it will be here in three months or less. I am excited and I am scared all at the same time.

I'm a money person. I crunch our numbers and budget all the time. I have always worked and it has always been somewhat of a safety net for me. It is hard for me to sit back and let someone else be the primary bread winner. I know how important the role of mom and housewife is. I am not belittling that in any way. This is just what I have always done. When Chris lost his job in Septemeber it really shook all of my faith and confidence in our plan. My immediete reaction is to go to work and fix things, but I realized that this was a God thing. For some reason the importance of being home had elevated in my heart. In those months we learned about stretching our money more than ever. We also learned a lot about trusting God. I believe it is most important to do everything we can to provide for our family's, but sometimes we do all we can and then we let God meet us half way there.

The war of emotions still wages at times in my heart. Some days I wonder how the heck we will make it work. Sometimes I wonder if I will be able to adjust from full time in the work place to being home with the kids. Then I look at my children and the desires God has placed in my heart for them, and I know this is where I am supposed to be for this season. It really has been a time in my life that is all about stretching and doing the things I never believed I could do.

Some people still wonder why I opted for a midwife, and why I would give up the comforting saftey net of modern drugs to tackle the rigors of labor. For me it is simply an outward expression of my faith for what God is doing on the inside. It is about running a race, enduring, stretching yourself beyond what you thought was possible, and then seeing God birth the incredible.