I Love Them

I love my kids. So what if Kaylie prattles on in the car about everything including play by plays of the latest Fresh Beat Band? So what if Micah likes to stick his hands in the toilet and climb on top of the dishwasher when I am trying to load? All of these little inconveniences pale in comparison to the joy and fullness they bring to my life. The next time they are crawling and bouncing on me while I sit on the couch I will count it such a blessing that they love me enough to want to be near me, and healthy enough to be delightfully rambunctious.

Oh Oatmeal

I don't hate oatmeal, really. I prefer to jazz it up with brown sugar or cinnamon, but it doesn't make me gag or anything.

I went shopping for groceries and was proud when my bill totaled $50. On a quest to save money I decided to buy a generic box of oatmeal which would last for the week. It is definitely cheaper than bagels or cereal, and it has enough healthy attributes without making me feel hungry well before lunch. At about 8 o'clock I headed to the breakroom to get my oatmeal started. I hate cooking hot cereals like this in the microwave, but I'm pretty sure a hot plate would be frowned upon so my options are slim. The oatmeal bubbled up and then settled into something that resembled mud pots from Yellowstone. The first few bites weren't bad, but it never fails that I will be interrupted and soon my oatmeal was a cold mushy mess. I ate it quickly trying not to think about the texture or temperature.

Here's the real deal. Oatmeal reminds me I am on a budget. As soon as I make a concerted effort to be frugal, I immedietely feel deprived. I know the is simply a spoiled Western mindset that I must overcome. It is much akin to going on a diet and suddenly the McDonald's sign looks shinier and more lovely than ever before.

No matter what I must purge this sense of entitlement and eat my oatmeal like a good girl. No goal worth attaining is ever an easy road, right?

Running Like a Gazelle

Last night Chris and I had a frank discussion about our finances. Just this week one of Chris' co-workers shared that they had become debt free just this week. She and her husband had been saving for awhile to purchase a new home while also going through the Dave Ramsey money makeover. They got to a point where they had a nice amount set aside and she decided they should use that money towards paying off the remainder of their debt. It was a sacrifice to let an immediete desire go to accomplish a larger goal, but she explained that after doing this they felt so free. It was as if they had received a pay raise as the reality set in that they did not owe anyone any longer. They were no longer a slave to the lender. I have no doubt that they will be moving into a new house in no time.

We have continued our journey towards being debt free, but it has been slower than we had hoped. I mentioned to Chris how great it would be to be out of debt by the end of next year. In my mind it was a wish, but not really a reality. Chris said he had actually been thinking the same thing. Enter the uncomfortable part of the conversation. What do we need to do to get there? We both knew deep in our hearts the answer was simply to sacrifice a little more. I would say that we live fairly meagerly compared to the average American family. We don't have cable, I don't go out shopping much, and I usually always try to find a good deal. These are issues of the heart though. I realize that often we convince ourselves that we have given everything, but we still harbor those little things that keep us feeling comfortable. I wrote earlier about wanting new floors. I also have a weakness for travel. I began to re-evaulate all that we do and tried to think about how we could do a little more to squeeze every last penny towards paying down the debt.

God has blessed us so much even during this difficult economic times. Chris and I have been so fortunate to be in stable jobs with steady income flow. Could we really squander this God given opportunity to grow spiritually and free ourselves from the bondage of debt?

I believe debt is a serious epidemic in our world. It's not really that it is impossible to get out of debt, but our minds are so programmed to fullfilling our every need instantly. No matter who you are we are all guilty of worshipping at the alter of "stuff" at one point or another. How sad is it that it is excruciating to think about a year or two of sacrifice when the outcome is freedom for a lifetime. We have set our hearts and minds to make this year count. We have a high goal of being out of debt by the end of the year. It may be a longshot, but we are going to give it everything we have. The extra money will be nice when it is all said and done, but I must reiterate that it is truly an issue of the heart. How much stuff do I need in life? How much more can I give when I am not in slavery to Wells Fargo or Bank of America. This is another issue God has dealt with me on is giving. We have also taken another leap of faith to give more to missions this year. I know it doesn't really make since with the whole tightening of the belt, but that is where the faith comes in. I'm not looking for millions or some name it and claim it scam, but my heart is to see the kingdom of God advanced through people who are laying their lives down for Him.I hope to be out there doing the same thing one day and I believe getting out of debt while giving is what will get us to that point. This just may mean I need to sacrifice more of my wants and desires, but it is an investment in God's kingdom which will never need a government bailout.

So here we go running like gazelles. We have a purpose and desire. We are partnering our economy with God's so that His Kingdom may come.

Proverbs 6:4-5

Give no sleep to your eyes, Nor slumber to your eyelids;

Deliver yourself like a gazelle from the hunter's hand

And like a bird from the hand of the fowler.

Back in the Swing of Things

It's Tuesday and time to get back to real life. I believe vacation memories are some of the best. Sometimes I don't even realize what a great time I had until I come home and start reliving all the things we did. Trying to manage my two kids was somewhat tiresome while traveling and being on the go, but what a precious time I had with Kaylie and Micah. I think of the times we were visiting museums, eating dinner together, or just chilling in the hotel and watching TV, and I feel priveleged that we were blessed with the time and resources to do this.

Friday night Chris took me out for dinner to celebrate our anniversary. We had a great time talking, laughing, and just enjoying one another's company. After dinner we went to a little independent coffee shop in North Richland Hills called Roots. I really like the set up of this shop. The staff could be a bit friendlier, but I am an extra picky Starbucks veteran. The store featured a live musician. I believed her name was Kiera. She was actually awesome. It is not often you get a coffee shop musician who plays their own music, and if they do the content and quality is usually iffy. Just being in a coffee shop makes me miss the old days of making coffee. My desire to own my own ship only increases. If anyone would like to invest in an experienced barista with business and management experience give me a shout.
Now back to the date, sorry for the rabbit trail. We spent the rest of the evening walking around a park just talking about our lives and the future. It was the best date. He even took me to Einstein's for breakfast Saturday morning before picking up the kids. It was a low key anniversary, but one of the best.

The rest of the weekend was a blur. The kids went out to a fall festival and received more candy than I think should be allowed. We attended the end of the missions conference at Shady Grove where my heart was once again broken for the nations.
My heart just might be beating away from here, but that is a story for another blog at another time.

I'm back at work now trying to adjust once again. I found out our four day weeks are being canceled due to downsizing in the office. It is a little disappointing, but what can you do? I miss my kids and husband. I miss being home together or out doing something, but bills must be paid.
Big holidays are just around the corner so it may be awhile before I am really back in the swing of things.

A Happy Seven Years

This past Sunday Chris and I celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary. I know you may be thinking that I just talked about our eighth anniversary together a couple of months ago. What can I say? We like to celebrate.

It's a little weird for me to even believe it has been seven years already. I don't feel that old. Of course I was only eighteen at the time. I could share a million things about marriage and life. The most important thing I can think of besides loving God more than you love your spouse is this. When you love, love fiercely. Work on your marriage as if your life depended on it. There is pain and joy in love. To love is to sacrifice, but what joy there is on the other side. This cannot be reached by living in a neutral status with your partner. There are moments in my marriage when I know Chris and I became so frustrated we were ready to throw the towel in, but what stood was the fierce love and loyalty, a willingness to push through because a life together was better than a life apart.

It has been an adventurous seven years and we are just getting started. I love you Chris. You are my great earthly love.

Sweet Home

We made it back early this evening. Seattle was rainy, cool, and beautiful, but I know I speak for the whole family when I say we are happy to be home. Going away just helps you appreciate all you have that much more. I wish I could have taken the scenery home. There were so many blazing yellow, fiery red and orange leaves. It really was a wonderful sight to take in. Even though I will miss this I felt a twinge of excitement as we broke through the clouds and I spotted the winding freeways, flat land sparsely populated with trees, and none other than a Grand Prairie landmark.... Lone Star Park!

It wasn't a long trip, but it was just right for our family with two small children. We did a lot in just a few days. Kaylie would actually tell me she was ready to go to bed which almost never happens. The trip was not without it's challenges, but I'm already starting to forget those as memories of all the fun times begin to cement in.

I will update more later with pictures. We have a few days to recuperate before heading back to the rat race. Chris and I will be celebrating our seventh wedding anniversary Sunday. Along with that and Halloween on Saturday we still have a lot of fun to pack in before it's over.

A Seed of Eternity

A week ago I had a talk with Kaylie about heaven. We have talked a lot about Jesus, but I felt it was time to take it a little deeper and talk about a more spiritual concept. I felt a little bit of anxiety trying to put such abstract ideas into a language she could understand. As we began to talk she would ask questions. I would answer the best that I could. I was genuinely surprised at how easily she received this information. Her child like understanding is not shrouded in adult cynicism, nor puffed up with a false sense of accomplishment as many are with human knowledge. She was excited and passionate about this eternal place where all who have put their trust in Christ will one day go. She kept telling me excitedy, "We will have a new life!"

I was so touched by her revelation, and a scripture from Ecclesiastes came to mind. It is a chapter many are familiar with. In fact a very popular song has come from it. It is the chapter that speaks of a time and season for all things. What stuck out to me was a verse that says God has placed eternity in the heart of man. Yes in the middle of this grand passage about times and seasons, all things which are so familiar to us on this earth, we are removed from this linear line of time. It is quite the realization that the concept of eternity is deep inside each one of us, whether you think you believe in God or not. It was this tiny seed that was planted in Kaylie's heart that opened her spiritual eyes.

We were created to live forever in relationship with a living God. Our humanity gives great creedence to reason and knowledge of the human mind. Unfortunately this has flawed our hopes of true wisdom. How can a finite mind process an infinite God? There is not reason for this, and to try and find salvation in our own abilities is foolish. For those who are jaded and unconvinced, for those who live for today as if tomorrow will never come, look in the depths of who you are and you will find that the seed of eternity is there.