Space Bubbles and other Musings

I realized with all clarity this morning that I require a large space bubble. The only few exceptions to this are close family. I work in a job that requires me to deal with people on a regular basis. Most of the time they come for paperwork and are gone within a few minutes. I can briefly tolerate this invasion into my space bubble because it is more of a passing than a lingering. What I have discovered is that I detest when someone stands or hovers over me. If there is a delay I prefer they take a seat. I do not need someone staring at me or tapping a pen on the counter while I focus on my work. I need my space people!!!

In other musings, I found myself thinking about how great it would be if my office were more like the television show The Office. Instead of staring at the clock as the day drags on I could be entertained by the Nard Dog singing, play a prank on Dwight, or sit through one of Michael's infamous staff meetings in the conference room. I guess this place can have its office moments. I have a gm who doesn't think twice about throwing around jokes involving race or sexual innuendo. Still it lacks the diverse character quality that brings so much life and fun to the show. I suppose this is the magic of talented writers, but I wouldn't mind some of this magic just for a day.

Refinancing You are My Enemy

not really, but you're not my best friend either. I became so caught up in the excitement of lowering my monthly mortgage payments that I completely forgot the dark side of applying for a home loan. It is a pain in my backside. At the moment when you are patting yourself on the back for mailing off every document pertinent to your life as well as your distant relatives, you get the call, or e-mail in our case. It always states something along the lines of thanks for your information, but we are going to need just a few more pieces of information and a blood sample. This always ends in us rummaging through paperwork like mad men trying to locate something we were sure we filed some time ago. I know my credit is not perfect, but does making payments on my home for the last three years without any late payments mean anything? Come one people I did this even when the rate was ridiculously high so can't we just process this loan on some good faith? Ok I know I am going overbaord. I just needed to vent. Now I'll get back to rummaging. Now where did I leave that old vial of blood?

A New Day, On to a New Week

The nightmare that was work last week ended at the stroke of 5pm yesterday. I was tired mentally, and physically sore ( thanks Jillian). I have tried not to fall into the yay Friday,ugh it's Monday crowd. Life can't just be lived on the weekend of course, but I have found myself longing for home during each day like a refreshing oasis in the desert. It is at home I can seek refuge from the flaming arrows that besiege me during the battlefield of the workplace. Ok ,ok maybe I am a little dramatic, but this would be boring without some colorful language. Nevertheless, home is why I work. It is here that love and life provide the energy and joy that I need to press on through what curve balls come my way.

Today is a new day, and of course I stand on the cusp of a new week. I plan to make the most of my time with my husband and kids. Life is just to short to have it any other way.

Holding Pattern

There are a couple of phrases I dread most while travelling via flight. One is when the pilot comes overhead announcing some choppy turblence ahead. The second is the pilot announces that due to some circumstances in the sky or on the ground we are going to be in a holding pattern for a little while. Nothing may change while we are in this holding pattern, but it can be exhausting as the anticipation of reaching the final destination begins to grow.

Life can sometimes mirror this experience, and we seem to be in one of these holding patterns as I write this. Chris and I find ourselves persevering on the small things, going to work, taking care of the family, and focusing on becoming debt free. At times the long term goals feel like mountains. I feel as if I am looking out the window of the plane and I see the faint image of where we want to be, but we keep holding and waiting. There are days when it is as if all we can do is put one foot in front of the other in faith that we will hit the goal at some point. It is not that we have no joy in our lives. Within our family we enjoy many happy and meaningful moments, but it is just the process that can weary even the seasoned traveler.

We continue looking out the window with great hope and anticipation. Even as we experience the death of some things in our lives that we once invested all our hopes and dreams. Oh how I long for the day when we are clear for landing.

So Happy It's Friday!

I am sitting at work after a yummy lunch, and I so don't want to work anymore. I think everyone should have Fridays off. I would gladly work four ten hours days if it meant I got a three day weekend. It would also cut down on commuter traffic which would in turn cut down on smog. Come on people we all need to get on board! Of course I guess school programs would have to change to accomodate parents work schedules. Ok, so maybe my plan has some flaws, but a girl can dream.

My cousin is getting married tomorrow which means tonight is rehearsal and dinner. Kaylie is so excited to wear her "princess" dress. I just know between tonight and tomorrow I will be worn out. The wedding is at 10am so we need to be up and around early for hair and pictures. I'm just praying we can get to bed at a decent hour. No matter what I am sure it will be fun. Congratulations Andrea and Nathaniel!

Dad leaves tomorrow for his three month trip to Africa. We have spent a lot more time at the house including our last family dinner yesterday. We watched our family's favorite show The Office. I haven't really stopped to think that he will be gone for so long. I'm just used to going over there and him being around or in the office playing Railroad Tycoon. I'll miss him, but I know it will be a good trip. I believe it will be life changing.

There happens to be a plethora of topics in this intense political and economic climate, but today I am content to leave those things for another day. It is safe to say that more and more I remind myself that I am no longer of this world, and I must rest in the knowledge that this is not my forever.

Until next time dear readers, have a wonderful weekend!

Update from Hibernation

I have not been a good blogger lately. Part of this is due to the fact that I have kept busy at work, and part of it is lack of interest. I hate that I say that, but some days I'm just not up to the daily broadcast. When I write I like to sit down and collect my thoughts and not be interrupted. Considering I do most of my blogging at work this is not always possible. I have a few moments now so here goes a quick update.

In the first tidbit we are no longer putting the house on the market. We were starting to get things ready when two foreclosed in our neighborhood were put on the market for about $40,000 less than we needed to make on our home. Considering they were in decent condition we could not justify to most buyers such a high cost at this time. To be honest it felt like a little setback. We were so pumped to sell the house and pay off a huge chunk of our debt as well as get a cheaper payment in an apartment. It seems like no matter what avenue we try to take God keeps bringing us back to stay in this house for awhile longer. We decided to go ahead and try to refinance. I was excited to find out that since we did not use an FHA the first time around we could qualify to refinance into one with a 4.5% interest rate. Now that is an awesome rate! Of course we will not reap the benefits of selling and collecting a huge sum of cash to pay off a large debt, but there is also no guarentee we would have sold right away or even anytime in the future. In the mean time we would have continued paying a ridiculously high interest rate. We will save almost $300 a month which will definitely help us accelarate our debt snowball. The only thing that could make me happier if if I could move our home out of Dallas county. The taxes are outrageous! We also received good news that our new rate will be assumable, meaning in the future when were try to sell, any potential buyer who qualifies for an FHA can assume our interest rate. Most likely rates will not be this low in a year or two. This will make our home a very attractive property and set us apart from others who might be selling.

In the meantime we are focusing on continuing our financial baby steps and making this home feel like home. Chris and I were both talking last night about how we have focused more on the future and eventually being somewhere else instead of just being content and making this our home for now. We still both carry a strong desire for the simple church ideas, and feel maybe our forward thinking has kept us from truly becoming apart of our neighborhood to impact people here and now in our community. Proverbs says,"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." I know we have made a lot of plans, but God moves our steps. He is in control, and we are most at peace when we don't try to put up roadblocks. Wherever I am and wherever I end up all I can say is,"God use me."

Another big change in our lives is my dad is going to Africa for three months. He has been appointed to go help bring some wisdom and structure to a ministry he has worked closely with in Burkina Faso. He has some hard work ahead of him, but I know it will be a great time for him to make connections and be in a land he has come to love so much. We will all miss him a lot. It really hasn't sunk in yet that he won't be around the whole summer. He has traveled for maybe two weeks at a time, but this is a little different. I know Kaylie is really going to miss her papa.

I really have wanted to post pictures, but our computer at home is a pain right now. It is running slower than molasses so it is not worth much. Maybe one day in the future I will get to it.


Now I need to get back and finish up for the end of the day. I'll try to make the next post sooner that two weeks!

I Want to Go Home

The days can be long being a working mom. This is nothing new for most women today. I have to be honest, I am tired. Before I was married I never knew how I could be tied down as a stay at home mom. I knew I would have to work. I just felt driven to contribute. After having children and trying to balance home and work life, I want to be home. Of course I enjoy adult interaction, and I do feel satisfaction from helping earn income for our family. Even with all of these things I realize with each passing day my children are not getting younger. There are many years ahead that I can work and do many other things, but I never regain those first years with my young children. I know staying home is not easy, and presents its own challenges. Getting up early and working 9 hours only to come home and hurry to prepare dinner and clean while trying to spend some time with the kids is getting exhausting.

I'm am praying so hard something will change because I don't want to wake up one day and find my children have already grown up.